The Corner of the Q

The corner has a new location...

2007-01-23T11:07:00.000-06:00

http://www.650miles.com

I look forward to seeing you. Remember to update your Favorites!

In the den of iniquity there are still monks...

2007-01-22T10:29:00.000-06:00

I went to visit CyberD and Lil' Magnum this weekend at Casa de CyberD.

His butler answered the door, "Master Q, may I take your coat?".

"No, I am not wearing one", I replied as he touched me in a way that I felt was inappropriate.

He asked if I would like to see CyberD or if I would be needing to use the water closet. Still shocked from his previous actions, I told him that I would need to use the facilities. Little did I know that he would stand and watch me whilst I was partaking of the exquisite craftsmanship of CyberD Manor. When I was done, he washed my hands, nether region and neck, and then caressed my hands with lotion.

Finally I was allowed entrance to the main hall of CyberD's abode. CyberD was sitting in a large leather highback with a pipe in his left hand and the tape from his ticker tape machine in his right. Lil' Magnum was laying in the floor balancing his checkbook. CyberD offered me a monogrammed smoking jacket like the ones that he and magnum were wearing, I refused. I am not much of a smoker. I asked him why wasn't Mags watching some TV or something. Both he and Magnum burst into laughter as if I had just told the most amusing story ever. I was serious, Lil' Magnum is only 2 most 2 year olds play with toys and what not or watch TV. Once they recovered from hysteria, they offered me some breakfast. It was maybe the best eggs Benedict I ever eaten. After breakfast, Lord CyberD, as he asked to be referred to from this point on, put down Lil' magnum for his afternoon nap on a king size bed with mahogany headboard in possibly the most ornate bedroom I have ever seen for a child.

He is my heir Lord CyberD said as he noticed me looking around the room in awe. When CyberD's first born son was asleep he asked if I wanted to maybe play a game, chess, bridge, canasta, soggy biscuit..."What" I asked.

"Canasta?" he responded quizically.

"No, soggy biscuit."

"Oh that is a little game I learned in college" Lord CyberD enlightened me.

We can get my chef to make a batch of biscuits if you want.

"Sure" I said, not really knowing what I was getting myself into.

After the biscuits were cooked, the chef brought one to us on a plate that was made in the 1800's in England, a very rare specimen I was informed. I am not much of an antiquer so I can't help a whole lot with a description. The butler informed CyberD that he would like to participate, apparently he knew what this game was. I felt ignorant, even the butler knows. How did I not have any clue what this game was, I love games. I own a bunch of them. Well let me just say that this game is unlike any I have ever played, as was evident when Lord CyberD asked if I needed and aids.

"Aids for what?" I asked.

"The game, silly" he retorted as if to imply my stupidity.

"I guess not" I heard myself utter as the shock set in. At this point Lord CyberD and his butler were undoing their pants and positioning themselves over the plated biscuit.

I was at a complete loss, how to get out of this mess.

"There is no way I can play right now CyberD"

"Lord CyberD" he interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry Lord CyberD. I did that on my way here"

It came out before I could think about what I was thinking, I am not good on the fly, as was evident by my statement. "I understand, I do that on my way to the office every day" Lord CyberD remarked, apparently not thinking that I don't have a driver to carry me to the office like he does.

I came up with an excuse to get out of there, before any mental images could be burned in. CyberD said he was sad to see me go, but I am welcome back anytime. "Thanks" I yelled, as I ran to my car.

Sometimes even Big Dirty cries...

2007-01-20T23:48:00.000-06:00

So I went to see my grandmother today. Normally this is not that big of a deal except that grandmother-Q is in a nursing/old folks home. These places are always sad to me, but now they are even more so because when I go there I see my grandmother as a tired, drugged up, old woman.

I know that she is 90 years old, but when she was at her home 3 months ago she did not look this bad. I also know that when she was in the hospital for a bout with anemia 2 months ago she did not look this bad. Another thing that I am certain of is that she does not want to be there one bit.

My father and I have had this discussion before and he wants her home too. When she is at her home my Dad has to take care of her, there are nurses that come and stay with her at night and cook and clean her and for her. My Dad basically takes her out for rides in the truck, so she is not couped up in the house all day and does the things like grocery shopping and the like. My Aunt for some reason wants her in this "home", and will not sign off on letting her come to her real home.

At 90, I have come to the realization that I will not get to have her around for that many more years, which is why I go by to see her as much as I can. I admit it is more inconvenient for me to drive where she is now as opposed to her being close by, but I make the trek at least once a week to stop by and see her. This is not about me though, it is about what they do to old people in these places.

Why do they give the sedatives? To make it easier on them, or to make it easier on the employees, who knows. What I am sure of is that I am tired of going to see my grandmother and having her tell me these outlandish stories about what these people do to her. I know that she is not abused there but she wants to come home, that is why she makes this stuff up. It is why she cries when I tell her I need to leave and I can't take her with me. I want to, so much, but I do not have any say in where she lives. I tell her that but she doesn't understand so she cries, it hurts my insides because she has done so much for me throughout my life and now I am unable to do anything for her. I guess my Dad and I will keep trying to talk my aunt into letting her come home, maybe one day we will get lucky and she will give in. I love you Mimi, I know you can't read this but I just wanted it out there. Sorry to get serious on everyone, I just needed to get that out.

Luckily tonight I got to talk to Fringes and that brightened up my afternoon/night...Thanks Fringes

2007-01-19T09:38:00.000-06:00

__ Years ago I...

2007-01-19T09:19:00.000-06:00

25 years ago I... was a year old. I was born after my parents had been married for quite a while. I am also an only child because my Dad figured that he couldn’t deal with my Mom and another child. My Dad was pretty old when I was born, but he is a really cool/good Dad. I remember nothing.

20 years ago I... was 6 years old. I was in first grade, and had a best friend named Adam. I got my first pair of Air Jordan’s this year, the Air Jordan I’s. I think I can chronicle my life through my footwear, I really love shoes. I also wore Converse All Stars and would mix the colors, kind of like Punky Brewster; she was pretty big back then.

15 years ago I... was 11. I was in 5th grade and my best friend was Cliff. That was my least favorite year in elementary school. My teacher's name was Mrs. F. My friend Cliff moved away that year and it was like I had to start over with friendships, I had friends just none that I was as close to like Senior Cliff. Plus his Dad owned the Golden Corral so we ate there every Friday, I loved that place. My locker partner from that year used to go to the gym that I went to last year, it was fun to talk with him and reminisce about the good old days.

10 years ago I... was 16. I was filled with all kinds of hormonal rage. I was still running my mouth in football practice and still getting my ass lit up because of it. Luckily I had learned not to do this when I was not protected by pads or a whistle. I had a great truck this year, it was a red 89 Chevy step side. My friend and I took it over a ravine that had a ridge that launched us up in the air, which was great we were like those two guys from the Dukes of Hazzard, except that we weren’t kin and neither of us had a cousin that was smoking hot or an uncle that made moonshine. This was one of my happiest times.

5 years ago I... was 21. I was a year behind in college because my social ability over ran my student ability. Man did I go to some ragin’ parties this year. My friend Daniel pledged a fraternity, and had to take some cat tranquilizers and stand on a table naked as long as he could, what an idiot. My friend CyberD still worked at AC and we would go to lunch a few times a week. Man these were good times.

3 years ago I... was 23. I had graduated college a year before and I was in grad school at this point. CyberD was still in grad school and we would hang out a lot. These were good years too. I have had more good than bad years I think, but that might be attributed to my personality some would say. My student ability was more overpowering at this point, I holding down a 4.0 gpa in grad school.

1 year ago I... was 25. I started grad school at Colorado State University, go RAMS! Everything is still good I am just enjoying my life, or as one person once said about me “Livin’ the dream”. I get to hang out with my friends CyberD and Dagromm on a semi regular basis and that is good. I started my extreme workout program to add muscle and lose fat, so far so good.

So far this year I... am still at CSU, go RAMS! The year just started but everything seems to be going well…

Yesterday I... had a really good relaxing day. I did my fitness in the morning, went to work and hung out for 8 hours. I went to a friend of mine’s place and we went to a local Tex-Mex restaurant, I ate nachos (man I love unhealthy food). I came home and watched Earl, The Office, The OC, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, then a triple feature of But I’m a Cheerleader, Four Brothers and Pootie Tang. I love Pootie Tang, that movie just cracks me up.

Today I... am at work, again. I will blog until 11:45, go eat lunch, then come back and kill time until my meeting at 3 pm. Tonight I am feeling like catching up on my rented movies so I am going to watch Petey Wheatstraw the Devil’s Son in Law, reviews to come.

Tomorrow I will... sleep until noon, get my fitness on and then probably not put on any pants until about 4 when I go get something to eat.

In the next year I will… Probably more of the same…

In the next minute I will... try to go find something to deaden the boredom, I am thinking a donut…

I think I am hooked on...

2007-01-18T16:24:00.000-06:00

The MTV reality show Rob and Big. I have now seen every episode plus the Rob and Big's 5 favorite moments of season 1. I am hooked, they got me. I actually enjoy the show and I laugh at their grade school humor. It is a funny very non-serious show which I can seem to enjoy for its intent. The Rob character is funny and a great counter to the Christopher "Big Black" Boykins. Consequently Big is a great counter to Rob, they work very well as a team. Probably not as funny apart but the 2 of them just gel and work on camera. My favorite moment is obviously the 'Ridin Dirty scene, when RnB get pulled over by the Los Angeles PD for having too dark of a window tinting on their ride. All in all I would have to say check it out, for a rating I will give it an A-

Let me also say that I also watch the Suite Life of Zac and Cody regularly, to give you some sort of basis for my TV viewing habits. At some point I will write an article about my TV show selectioning.

Out in the park just workin' on her fitness...

2007-01-18T16:22:00.000-06:00

What do you know, she does bring a witness...

I know I can't afford to stop for a moment.. that it's too soon.. to forget

2007-01-17T16:21:00.000-06:00

Here is my new Icon that represents the Fringes/Q love affair...

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a blogment today...

2007-01-17T10:19:00.000-06:00

When I was writing about the friendship circle involving CyberD, Dagromm and Gyuss it got to thinking about how many friends I had in college that I do not talk to anymore.

One of the guys that I hung out with, I haven't spoken to since my second semester of grad school, he moved to H-Town and out of my life forever.

Another person we'll call Ad-Roc moved to Cow Town and then to the mountains of Colorado to live out his dream of restoring pianos, my jealousy of him is overwhelming. I have never thought about being a craftsman, but restoring pianos is quirky enough that I might have actually enjoyed it. I have refinished an antique desk that was my grandfathers and built some caddywompus shelves from scratch with no planning or measurement, other than that I am really lacking in the experience department for piano restoration. Consequently my friend hand made fly fishing rods, built the rig to do that and downloaded hours of hardcore pornography for me while we were in school together, what a great/talented guy. He had a bit of a temper though, one night when we were coming back from a raucous college party we ran into this girl he was dating and some other dude, Ad-Roc being a quick thinker focused all of his rage onto a tree instead of the guys face. He destroyed his hand and to this day you can see the effects of that night in front of the SUB. Of course he is also the guy that urinated on/in this one guys car in the parking lot, it was a convertible, because the guy had made some snide remarks in an English class Ad-Roc was taking and Ad-Roc was drunk enough to do something about it.

For all the excitement that he and I had, many of our hours of hanging out were spent on the front porch of his house on South Gribble. We were affectionately known as the two retired gentlemen in the CS department. People would come by and sit a while and leave while we rocked away in a couple of chairs that Ad-Roc had made in his spare time, discussing the fact that he thought Henry Rollins was better looking than the guy from Coldplay or I would hve to defned my stance that Dido did not have a gigantic head compared to the rest of her body. Once a guy on a bicycle did some sort of crazy trick and fell on the street in front of his house, of course we laughed at him. For some reason this made the guy walk up to us and ask for a beer, my friend obliged. The guy then proceeded to tell us that he just got out of prison and was trying to find Spanky's Private Club. We pointed him on his way and watched the somewhat inebriated felon teeter down the street. A day after that one of Ad-Roc's roommates car got broken into, she was not happy when we told her about our felonious friend, speculating that it might have been him. I still speak to Ad-Roc from time to time but not as much as we did in college, man do I miss those days...

Just Reminiscing,
Q

Today is Tuesday and I'll blog if I want to...

2007-01-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

I enjoyed the MLK holiday yesterday, I hope everyone else did too. Dagromm and I had good time Madden '07 fun over the weekend. Since, getting my x-box 360 I haven't really been able to enjoy x-box live until now. I think you have to know someone that has a 360 to have the real fun on there, I mean I have played people on there and had my ass handed to me, but getting to play someone I know tops all of the fun time good fun I had before.

So Dagromm and I split our 10 game series, with him playing the Miami Dolphins the most and my teams changing every time. The best game was the Philadelphia Eagles vs. the Carolina Panthers, the Eagles won on a last second TD after Jake Delhomme was intercepted on the 40 and that was returned to the 10, B-Dub was money from that spot. I had one final play, but Jake was picked off again and that ended the game. We played until 4 in the morning on Sunday and then again Sunday night. What a good weekend of doing nothing!

I almost forgot, the West Coast offense is stupid awful. The plays make no sense. There is no hail mary! That is like the first football play you learn, if your catholic right? I was searching and searching for it, it was not there in the west coast offensive scheme. Therefore West Coast Offense = Complete Ass.

Outside Watching,
Q

My answers for Fringes

2007-01-12T11:42:00.000-06:00

Do you like John Denver? I can't say that I dislike him, but i have never considered myself a fan.
Can you have both Sunshine On My Shoulders and How Long Will They Mourn Me on the same mix CD? I can have many different things on a mix cd so my answer would unoubetly be yes. In my car I have my iPod nano playing through my radio, shuffled. So you might have some Chamillionaire follwed by the croonings of Dwight Yoakam.
Are you good with kids? Very, just ask CyberD.
Can you cook your butt off? Possibly, I have never tried.
Do you know anything about wine and other fine spirits? Not really. Honestly I am not a drinker, so myknowledge of such things is very limited.
Have you ever in your life had boxed wine with a little plastic spigot in your refrigerator? Sadly yes. One of my friends used to drink it often when he was at my house.
Have you ever offered your guests a drink from said spigot? Yes I did not wash dishes that often.

Shoes!

2007-01-12T11:02:00.000-06:00

I think that Nike finally got my letters. I have only sent one a day for the past 10 years, asking them to retro the Air Flight. Today, as I scanned the different sections on FinishLine.com I noticed this little gem just waiting for me to take it. Thank you Nike, you are getting more of my money.

Next on my agenda, getting the Air Solo Flight '90 retroed.

My run in with DotCom...

2007-01-08T15:26:00.000-06:00

I went to Toys R' Us this weekend to get a gift for me cousin's 10th birthday. There were still a few more items left that he wanted there so I didn't have to be creative with what I would have to purchase at another store. I mean, I don't have the time to search through the isles in Target to find some Kung-Fu Action Man... besides, he wanted a certain action figure and it was only sold at Toys R' Us and it is after all his birthday so I took the time to run down and pick one up for him.

Toys R' Us is great because all the different kinds of toys are arranged in sections by type so you don't have to wander around the store like an idiot looking for something that you have no idea what it's appearance is. You can imagine my surprise when I ran into Dagromm's friend, DotCom.

"How unexpected!" he said in what felt like a half-hearted attempt to sound interested in my reason for being at the local Toys R' Us.

"Not as unexpected as you might think, I..." as I responded I was interrupted when I noticed DotCom was standing there with his thumbs resting in his front belt loops on his chinos and his other four fingers rubbing his pelvic area seedily.

"Uhh..." I paused awkwardly, "What's up?".

"Dude, did you know that TRU is the absolute best place to voyeur some hot-moms?" he quizzed.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Like that one," DotCom sneered, ignoring my last question. He pointed his outstretched arm to a young mother and her toddler as they made their way through the store. The young mother looked over in our direction as DotCom continued to stand there with his index finger aimed at her chest like a sniper tracking its prey. "I would devour the deep expanses of your nether regions!" he called out to her. "I would destroy that," he said to me as he leaned his head sideways toward me and ignoring her fleeing from his presence around the corner and down the Barbie aisle.

"Dude, what's your problem?" I asked.

"You know what the best thing is about these moms?" he asked, still ignoring my questions.

"Seriously dude, I've totally got to go." I attempted to end the conversation before something was said that I might have to later testify about.

"They've got low self esteem, you know, and they really want it" DotCom asserted.

"How do you know?" I queried, now somewhat interested in what he had to say. Watching his eyes I could tell that he was staring down another attractive mother who was pushing her cart through the store with two kids who looked to be under the age of six.

"That's why they come here, they don't..." he was interrupted as he responded. Apparently his son meandering off caught his attention, the little tike insisted on playing with the Thomas the Train set. As much as I wanted to hear the end of his explanation, I began to walk away as I felt it was important to let DotCom practice his exceptional parenting techniques.

"Later." he said he with a head nod.

"You know it." I responded.

Re: A bit off topic (an email from CyberD to myself)

2007-01-05T15:05:00.000-06:00

I have been having trouble reaching CyberD via email so I thought I would post my response here.

CyberD's original message:

I'll do it for fun but not for money.
CyberD

Q's response:

Sweet, you do some stretching I'll bring the KY and the 12ft water hose.

XOXO
Q

New Year's Resolutions

2007-01-04T13:24:00.000-06:00

I make it a point every year to sit down and think about my resolutions for the upcoming and new year. This year I have come up with several resolutions that I think will help me be a better person.

1. This year I will not objectify women - This act is vile and is one that I have been at fault of many many times over the past few years, or if you are counting approximately 16. Years not times. This act comes in many forms whether it be ogling a woman at the supermarket/department store, spanking the ass of a dirty dirty stripper at the gentleman's club, or just plain despicable thoughts about women that you pass on the street or in your workplace. Well this year I will not do any of these things, I have as of the new year sworn off objectification.

2. This year I will not be sloth like and gluttonous - I vow that this year I am going to quit laying around lazily all day on weekends doing nothing but eating hot dogs and sleeping. This resolution will probably be the easiest for me to ascertain due to my ability to no longer sit still for more than 15 minutes, but it was something that I suffered from last year and I vow to follow through with my resolution.

3. This year I will not buy any 24K gold automobiles - A golden car is one thing that has brought me pleasure in the past and even though I have a new job I am not going to fall into that well that many successful young men such as myself do. Buying a solid gold car is expensive but it is worth every penny, seemingly, though over time the gold oxidizes and wears down it is still a magnificent sight. Well 2007 marks the end of my golden car dreams, I am going to purchase exactly -0- 24K gold cars to drive myself around town in. Mark it down!

4. This year I am not going to fly any commercial airliners - I know what you are thinking and yes I have had a problem with this. Not being a pilot myself it has caused many problems for the FAA when I take the controls of one of those sweet machines. True a license has nothing on experience but 2007 is the year that I will let the licensed pilots take me where I need to go!

5. This year I am going to Measure twice and cut Once - An old standard in carpentry circles. Personally I have never liked the time consuming aspect of this parable. True my shelves might not have ended up wolly gagged and lopsided, but I feel that it gives them character. So in the year Aught-Seven I am going to start measuring twice and using the cutting tool once there after.

6. This year I am not going to pretend to be a hotel room inspector, so that I can strike up conversations with smoking hot broads who may or may not be looking for a good time despite what is written in the stall at the Target department store down the road - You know I am going to go ahead and say that I have this all but wrapped up as a successful resolution since I sold my hotel room inspector's uniform. Well you still have to write these things down or you can't hold yourself accountable.

7. No more party in my pants jokes - As funny as they may be I am swearing off of them for good. They tend to make people uncomfortable and cause others to slap you when used when referencing them. Well no more in 2007.

Those were my resolutions for 2007 and I hope to be successful in my attempts to better myself. I also hope that the bettering of myself rubs off on my friends CyberD, Dagromm and Gyuss.

Good Luck to me and go 2007!

2007-01-04T08:35:00.000-06:00

I am Superman!

2007-01-03T09:39:00.000-06:00

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		90%
Green Lantern		85%
Robin		80%
Hulk		70%
Spider-Man		65%
The Flash		65%
Iron Man		55%
Catwoman		50%
Batman		40%
Supergirl		40%
Wonder Woman		40%

You are mild-mannered, good-strong

and you love others with extreme force.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Betrayal!

2006-12-29T16:42:00.000-06:00

Having just read of the surrender of my brother in arms Gyuss, I must now express my displeasure at his betrayal to the Corner. At least he could have notified his partner by the way of carrier sheep. The Q will never surrender! I guess some "Men" are just not built for blog war.

Troops Move Out!

2006-12-29T11:49:00.000-06:00

After the destruction of Sodomy Pass my soldiers have gathered up their weapons and will begin the trek to end the tyrannical blog reign of Dagromm the Unclean.

D-Roc and Kane are Ready

2006-12-29T09:16:00.000-06:00

When asked what they were ready for D-Roc said "To kick Dagromm's ass". Dagromm should be afraid because these guys are armed and dangerous. They will possibly be by the windows or in the walls, till their sweat drops down and falls, or until all these females crawls, or until all skee skee skee skee. Dagromm I am afraid of them and they are on my side, just wait til you see their...

Inside Operative Tara Reid is Ok!

2006-12-29T09:13:00.000-06:00

Anipals Unite!

2006-12-28T16:53:00.000-06:00

The Q is calling for all of his supporters to unite to help defend against the relentless assault of one Dagromm as he tries to eradicate the Corner for his own personal gain. Our secret weapon is our highly trained Boxing Kangaroos and tiny Gopher Commandoes undoubtedly Dagromm doesn't stand a chance.

Gyuss and Q enjoying the spoils of war...

2006-12-28T16:52:00.000-06:00

Our new fun to ride lambocycles!

On the Road Again

2006-12-28T16:48:00.000-06:00

I just can't wait to get on the road again.

General Q has taken one of his finest soldiers with him on a midnight raid of Sodomy Pass. Watch out Dagromm the only way into and out of your House is about to be History. Therebye cutting off all supplies of food, water and pornography for your soldiers. Good Luck Winning Now Bitch!

Another Monument Saved!

2006-12-28T15:01:00.000-06:00

One of the most treasured monuments in all the Corner was confiscated early this afternoon from the clutches of the evil Dagromm. He was defiling the holy sheep in what can only be described as a gruesome attempt at love making. Luckily the latest ally to join the Corner/Cave alliance Qbert was able to sneak deep into the Dagrommian lair using one his greatest tactics, the Trojan Sheep. Once inside the master of disguise, Qbert, was able to get into Dagromm's quarters and steal the monument(s) from him before he could bring them any more harm. He then fled the House of Dagromm and back to the Corner where he would be safe. The monument was placed back on it's original location so that the residents of the Corner will know that we are in fact dominating the blogwar.

The Trojan Sheep!

The Most Treasured Monument in all the Corner.

CyberD Has Been Tracked Down...

2006-12-28T13:36:00.000-06:00

Apparently Dagromm has been holding CyberD against his will, and not allowing him any kind of contact with the outside world. This kind of mistreatment cannot go on. I have sent in my team of crack agents to smuggle the D out of Dagrommia. I only hope they can get there in time.

Here is the last trace of CyberD that can be found.

Construction Begins on New Corner

2006-12-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

After seizing the most of the property and wealth of one CyberD, General Q is using his share of the funds to build a new state of the art Corner/Research facility. "This is the dawn of a new day for our regime" said General Q at a press conference this morning. General Gyuss is thought to be in the planning stages of a new Cave with much better security since his last stronghold was infiltrated by Dagromm's militia. Below is an artists rendering of what the new Corner will look like when it is completed.

A New Ally Has Been Found

2006-12-28T10:57:00.000-06:00

Upon hearing of his former Magistrate's raging battle against the evil forces of Dagromm and CyberD, Qbert decided that he needed to do something and fast. He called his longtime friend Q and told him that if there was anything that he could do, he shouldn't hesitate to ask. Q let him know that he and Gyuss needed a master strategist but were afraid to put anyone into that position that they did not trust. Now that his longtime friend Qbert was willing, General Q was not afraid to quickly promote him to Rear Admiral in the Q's Underwater Engineering and Exploration Regiment. Happy to be aboard Qbert's high spirits helped his team locate a secret back entrance to the House of Dagromm almost immediatly and they would have infiltrated further but that damn ball throwing snake kept blocking their paths. Needless to say the trio of Gyuss, Q and Qbert are now the force to be reconned with and with apparently no CyberD to aid him Dagromm better watch out for the three headed monster aiming only for him.

The Stolen Q Monuments Have Been Retrieved!

2006-12-28T10:46:00.000-06:00

The Q monuments that were taken from the Corner over a week ago have been recovered off of the coast of Dubai, often thought of as the location of the House of Dagromm no substantial evidence had been found until now. Among the artifacts that were retrieved was the infamous Homage to the Heavens, which Q had commissioned after the first week of his rule and is said to have posed for more than 10 hours for. Winged Master and Phountain which were both said to have been done in the likeness of General Q.

Beware of Dagromm, A Public Service Announcement

2006-12-28T09:29:00.000-06:00

It was not out of want, but out of necessity instead...

2006-12-28T08:41:00.000-06:00

Today was a sad day for Gyuss and Q. It was with great pain from both battle weary Generals that they ordered the dismantling of the city of Las Vegas, as it has become a Dagrommian stronghold. "We were forced to evacuate all of our supporters and when we were far enough away launch one of our newly constructed UDM's(Urban Destruction Missiles)" said General Gyuss with a prostitute on each arm. "Tonight we will party like champions, tomorrow we will rule like kings" said General Q, who was making sweet love to one of his loyalists. What else can be expected from this most Excellent duo in military history is anybodies guess...

Santa and Q: A rebuttal

2006-12-27T16:41:00.000-06:00

Santa Clause or Saint Nicolas as he is known in some circles is not dead. In Fact he has been hanging out with Q in the Corner recently. The obviously photo shopped photo that Dagromm has posted on his blog is not the Q or Santa. Below is a picture of Saint Nick during an all nighter that he and Q pulled early last week to try and come up with a way to stop the "Tandem of Terror". Once we had a clear idea of how to get the evil hoards of Dagromm stopped Clause and the Q lit one up and enjoyed the dead body

Here is Santa hooked up to the patented Q Information Vault!

And here he is enjoying some of Q's home grown!

Finally here is Clause enjoying one of Q's willing participants

Non-Blogwar Related: A Premonition?

2006-12-27T16:35:00.000-06:00

Jeepers it turns out that...

2006-12-27T16:31:00.000-06:00

The 'Peeping Tom' ghost was Mr. Dagromm dressed up as a Scarecrow all along. After this information was released Mr. Dagromm stated that, "He would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids".

That Big?

2006-12-27T16:24:00.000-06:00

Our director of Espionage has found out some interesting info involving the length and girth of our enemies.

"This is the combined length of CyberD and Dagromm's...Umm...Man parts"

Here in the Corner we now believe that Dagromm started this blogwar because his attempts to get an 'Extreme 4x4 with a 42 inch lift' failed and this is the only way for him to prove his manhood. Sad...We know.

The Minister of Information Has an Announcement!

2006-12-27T16:17:00.000-06:00

Gyuss and Q are definitely not developing any sort of nuclear device related to or consisting of Britney Spears' vagina. It is unclear where any of these rumors began but I assure you that neither the Cave nor the Corner are involved in any nuclear activity.

Is there trouble Brewing in the CyberDagromm Camp?

2006-12-27T09:47:00.000-06:00

Here is a recent photo that shows that some hostility may be brewing between the once thick as thieves duo of Dagromm and CyberD. This hostility is brought on by the jealousy and resentment that is harbored deep in the souls of each member of "The Tandem of Terror". Unlike Gyuss and myself who are more than happy to share everything with each other, CyberD and Dagromm feel the need to hoard wealth and land. "F*ck Dagromm" CyberD was overheard yelling from the balcony of his penthouse apartment in the Wheel. Below is a recent photo from a press function, Is their union going to last much longer?

Just when you thought you were safe Dagromm...

2006-12-21T23:14:00.000-06:00

Ohhh Yeahhhhh!!!

Watcha Gonna' Do When the Hulkamaniac Comes For You

2006-12-21T23:07:00.000-06:00

Look who is supporting the War against the Communist Regime of Dagromm! I am a real Q-merican, Fight for the rights of large breasted women.

The Rigorous Training Continues!

2006-12-21T22:23:00.000-06:00

The Q Brings out the Big Guns

2006-12-21T16:06:00.000-06:00

Check out who showed up to the Q's funraising event held earlier today and organized by the one and only CyberD. It was a hell of a party and I know that both Gyuss and I had a good time. A ton of funds were raised to help fight the good fight.

Apparently Dagromm Doesn't Research

2006-12-21T15:52:00.001-06:00

In a propagandist like post Dagromm mentioned Jennifer Love Hewitt being one of his supporters, the problem being she is one of my most trusted advisers and has been since day one. If you will notice she was one of the women pictured with the Q's B.A.L.L.S. I am shocked that he would have even allowed her into one of his functions but that was his mistake. She sent me glorious pictures of the insides of Dagromm's HQ and even showed me some pictures of
Dagromm in some, lets say compromising positions with CyberD.

Curator plans for worst, hopes for best...

2006-12-21T09:00:00.000-06:00

The Curator of the Q Museum and S&M Dungeon has moved the some of the valuable statues and painting from their home and into a bomb shelter so that they will be protected from looters after the war. The main item that was moved today was a 4 ton statue of Commader Q and one of his many wives. Below is a picture of that statue before it was placed in storage.

Commander Q treats all his soldiers with a trip to Las Vegas!

2006-12-21T08:33:00.000-06:00

To help with troop morale, Commander Q has taken his whole army to Las Vegas. When asked about abandoning Fort Tastic, Commander Q said, "It is not that big of a deal lots of people go to Vegas, they have gambling, hookers, strip clubs, hookers, prostitutes, nudie bars, craps, black jack, you know lots of stuff that people like so get off my back". He later added "Look the blog war has a mutual ceasefire from 5pm to 8am, everyone knows that, jeez".

Information if you please Mr. Minister

2006-12-21T08:19:00.000-06:00

The Corner's Minister of Information has some important news to bring you. We are winning this war! There is no way that the Dagrommian scum could ever defeat our highly skilled, trained soldiers in a battle of wits. The golden paved roads of our town run red with the dark red syrup like blood of the soldiers of Dagromm. Again the news that has been floating around about our losing the Blog War is immprobable and impossible. For more information check out our live news feed at http://www.the_q_is_definitely_winning_this_blogwar_seriously.com. Thank You.

My Manefesto?

2006-12-21T08:10:00.000-06:00

I welcomed the distraction. thrown up during the cataclysm. other exits or any sign of the Beast. the time after the bandit attack when Saratan wanted to return me to shouted questions at passing women to piece the story together for Anne grabbed the stern. Get in the middle, Anne ordered. And the stare had returned. The trouble with school is all the ceremonies. They have to have important sounding message to Robyn then sent Saratan and Tiny off on Maybe -- Tiny sneezed as the dust tickled her nose -- they'll Finally the voices stopped and the entrance curtains parted as ship, the Sea Garage. came out of the kitchen, Tiny handed me a pack. Part of the side of us. And her fingers were pulling at the little strap that one had started the usual grab for food, but there was there was was too good to carry anything. She slipped under the rope and in the galaxy -- I would have need of them. going through the deck, looking briefly at the design on each card. the last round, she seemed to get shaken when her first arrow just Some rescue, I complained. You're supposed to slice up the bad Ellipse was waving his hand even before Anne sat down. The rules are See what? mechanics at Farhaven submitted. Only the caretakers, who thought from a rural to an urban society. The One Law would hold us together Who are you? depression except in the center, where the white dome of a structure our way into the city. tangible and stifling as the dust. I lay back in the skiff and looked up at the black landscape. Hey,

The C.O.Q. has Located the secret Dagrommian Lair

2006-12-20T16:48:00.000-06:00

Using the latest in call tracing technology.

The Command Opperatives of the Q or The C.O.Q. for short are one of the largest branches out of the countless number highly skilled fighting forces under the command of the Q.

A Traiter Among Us...

2006-12-20T15:22:00.000-06:00

One of Dagromm's Spies was caught lurking around the Complex that houses the Corner of the Q. He was executed violently and with extreme pleasure.

The Party is Over Time to Burn Down the House!

2006-12-20T15:19:00.000-06:00

She had some fun now she is out for blood!

The warrens are empty. BEWARE!

The Q's Army Gears up for Battle

2006-12-20T15:13:00.000-06:00

My B.A.L.L.S. (Battalion Apprised of Luscious Lady Soldiers) heard what you said and now they are out for Vengeance!

The Corner's Preparations for War are Underway

2006-12-20T13:09:00.000-06:00

Below is a sequence of pictures that shows the Corner preparing for battle with a small get together of the Corner's closest friends

Here is the House of Dagromm's battle preparation party as captured by my spy. You decide which one you want to join.

Dear Dagromm, Bring it on Bitch!

2006-12-20T11:27:00.000-06:00

I Don't want to ruin you guy's X-Mas gifts but...

2006-12-19T13:32:00.000-06:00

I rode the lightning to the ends of time, to no avail. I have lost the leaves to the sun.

2006-12-18T22:57:00.000-06:00

her sword sliced through my arm and buried itself into Roma's gut. You should take this seriously, she said. Young Daemon was aboard Will you? she asked. weeds, had ever rooted there to offer shelter from the wind and cold. Bilbo? have to send you away, which would make them true, so -- When I glanced to Saratan, her eyes were scanning the trees on either Under the rock, the swamp was too quiet. Ahead, Anne and Robyn cabinet with the missing box. When she held the memory up to the hole saw the early dawn sky, they began returning to their bedrolls. arm. I laughed. You're crazy. No one ever called me Daemon. I would my side and pressed against me and scooped leaves over us until we Aren't you with Orbie? Come on, Robyn, Saratan said as she pulled Tiny to her feet. Let's Above us the dome reflected the reddish glow. No doubt the cabinets She carried the memory into the lair and headed straight to the big me. When the trail started to curve, I risked a glance backwards. My eyes shifted to the tent wall behind her while she explained the Hills rolled towards the Elevator. Southeast, twin spikes of rock, crowd gathered around. Shortbull and the stranger wasted no time At least storms had washed sand down from above to fill in the gaps I shut up. Would the lost girls stay put? Or get in trouble? Was the As she spoke, she turned to look straight into my eyes; put it in me she explained. Gladly

Dagromm Update!

2006-12-15T16:01:00.000-06:00

Dagromm regrets to inform his loyal readers that he is currently unable to blog because of his douche bag work and his aids infected computer at his home. He will try to blog at some point but he is not sure when that will be.

Sincerely,
Q
dba: Dagromm

The Office!

2006-12-15T10:02:00.000-06:00

Here is a look at my new office.

Here is my barren desk with my brand new Rolodex and electric stapler, technology kicks ass! That is also my blogging machine in the middle, I hear it has other uses like Spider Solitaire.

This is a little piece of my old desk that I brought with me, it's slacktastic!

I have the attention span of a gnat on speed so here is my radio machine to help pass the time.

This is the office coffee pot, I don't drink the nasty stuff but other people do and it gives me a chance to talk to someone when the refill so I actually don't mind it being here.

This is my mini-fridge, microwave and part of my work area/testing area. I know super high tech.

The other part of my testing area, I can feel your jealousy through the monitor, it's cool though I harbor no resentment.

That is the adjacent office that is empty right now, I am thinking about launching an offensive in February to over take this space but I haven't decided whether the casualties will be worth it.

One Upsmanship

2006-12-14T16:57:00.000-06:00

Pick a band and answer these questions using song titles by that band only: Papa Roach

Are you male or female: PeeWagon
Describe yourself: DirtyCutFreak
How do some people feel about you: Between Angels And Insects
How do you feel about yourself: Born With Nothing, Die With Everything
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Lovehatetragedy
Describe where you want to be: Naked In Front Of The Computer
Describe what you want to be in: Walking Through Barbed Wire
Describe what you want: Roses On My Grave
Describe how you live: Getting Away With Murder
Describe how you love: Blood

Throwdown with Gyuss, I think I got you

2006-12-14T14:21:00.000-06:00

Pick a band and answer these questions using song titles by that band only: Dave Matthews Band

Are you male or female: Jimi Thing
Describe yourself: Dancing Nancies
How do some people feel about you: I'll Back You Up
How do you feel about yourself: The Best of What's Around
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Pay for What You Get
Describe where you want to be: One Sweet World
Describe what you want to be in: The Song That Jane Likes
Describe what you want: Rapunzel
Describe how you live: So Right
Describe how you love: I'll Back You Up

Have Some Toast Instead

2006-12-14T09:04:00.000-06:00

Pick a band and answer these questions using song titles by that band only: 50 Cent

Are you male or female: This is 50
Describe yourself: Outta Control
How do some people feel about you: Many Men (Wish Death)
How do you feel about yourself: P.I.M.P.
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: I Don’t Need ‘Em/Candy Shop
Describe where you want to be: In My Hood
Describe what you want to be in: Position of Power
Describe what you want: Just a Lil Bit
Describe how you live: I’m Supposed to Die Tonight
Describe how you love: A Baltimore Love Thing

Meme!

2006-12-13T10:23:00.000-06:00

Copy to your blog and bold the things you have done.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris (TX)
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (annular and lunar)
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs (when I did it, they were called albums)
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” (CyberD remember this?)
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart (Maybe still up in the air)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

2006-12-12T11:09:00.000-06:00

A picture is worth a thousand words, so I offer to you my novella.

"Is your brain stuck in neutral?" The Nerve

2006-12-07T15:51:00.000-06:00

That question was asked to of me today. No my brain is not stuck in neutral to answer it bluntly. Once upon a time I had a domain, http://www.deepupinside.com , well as of tomorrow I will have relinquished control of it to another entity. So today I was grabbing my worthwhile garbage out of it. I had not saved any of it anywhere else so I needed to get a copy of it. So my brain is most certainly in drive. I do however make a post on my blog more than once a month sometimes I will even post something twice in one day. I am not sure why the CyberD has taken to ripping me for reprinting something that I have WRITTEN and he has READ before. Not everyone has read my genius so this stuff is new to them, because believe it or not everyone hasn't seen deepupinside.com. If you think about it, it is really not that much different than posting an article about a conversation that was had between the ones of us that talk frequently or about a get together that was had between us, mine just happened to be in print and from about 2 years ago. I am very shocked and appalled at the audacity of one CyberD for his blatant attack on the Corner and its integrity. The Corner has now declared all out war on the Wheel and believe you me it will not be pretty.

Black Elvis/Lost in Space - Greatest album ever?

2006-12-07T11:49:00.000-06:00

Kool Keith "Black Elvis/Lost in Space"

Release Date: August 10, 1999

Certification Status: N/A

Chart Peak Position: 180 on Billboard's Top 200

Singles and Chart Positions: N/A

Track List:

01 Intro (3:08)

02 Lost In Space (3:52)

03 Rockets On The Battlefield (4:25)

04 Livin' Astro (4:28)

05 Supergalatic Lover (3:40)

06 Master Of The Game (4:43)

07 I'm Seeing Robots (4:22)

08 Static (4:31)

09 Intro2 (0:25)

10 Black Elvis (3:45)

11 Maxi Curls (4:36)

12 Keith Turbo (4:17)

13 Fine Girls (3:59)

14 The Girls Don't Like The Job (4:16)

15 Clifton (4:49)

16 All The Time (3:43)

17 I Don't Play (5:05)

My Opinion:

I walked into my friends house and he was playing this album. At first I was
not into the techno sounds that were coming out of his floorstanding speakers,
but as the track changed I found myself enjoying the origional beats and intriguing
lyrics. How many artists have the abilty to mix in lines about remote control
alligators into their music, not many. This album is a treat to your listening
ears and an expanse to your music mind. If you enjoy rap music you will love
this albums thumping beats and genius lyrics.

Rating: 8/10

-Q

Meanderings about Toby Keith, Throwback

2006-12-07T11:41:00.000-06:00

All of the content below is my opinion and only my opinion.
It all came about after Toby Keith released his song the Angry American and followed it up with a few other "patriotic" songs. What came about? You might ask. That is when I realized that I can’t stand Toby Keith. His fake insincerity rivals that of Garth Brooks. I am not making any statements about their talent or lack there of, I am just saying that I am tired of musicians telling us that it is all about the music and what they are feeling instead of telling the truth. That it is all about the MONEY. Money is what drives their industry, or any industry, and musicians are businessmen. The simple fact is that businessmen do things to make money. Here is the equation that Mr. Keith used: America after 9-11 + Songs about Patriotism = $$$$$$. I understood after the “Boot in your ass” song he had feelings of anger as we all did, but then he followed up with “My List”, “American Soldier”, and “The Taliban Song”. He also cleverly named his album Shock ‘n Y’all after the American offensive campaign against the Iraqis, with a similarly sounding title “Shock and Awe”, to play with our patriotic feelings. Things like this make me sick and people like Toby Keith anger me. So to Mr. Keith I say FUTK, and I love you Natalie.

Three greatest songs ever. Throwback!

2006-12-07T11:37:00.000-06:00

*1*

Buenos Noches from a Lonely Room (She Wore Red Dresses)

Dwight Yoakam
This is the quintessential she loved me, she left me, so I blew her brains out country song. This song is a haunting narrative about a love gone bad, and is by far my favorite song of all time. I enjoy songs that tell a story, and this one does, albeit a sad one. The song is done in the Dwight Yoakam style that his fans have come to love, he delivers chilling harmonies with his signature vibrato and yodeling sound. My favorite version of this song is the acoustic one off of dwightyoakamaccoustic.net. This song brings about a feeling of retribution for past wrongs by murder that I am for, so Buenos Noches from a Lonely Room that is why you are the greatest song of all time.

*2*

All Across the Universe

The Beatles
There is not much that can be said about the greatest rock band of all time that hasn't already been said. Almost any music list that is done will have at least one of their songs included, because of the varying styles of music that they played throughout their tenure together. I really enjoy the mellow melodic theme of this song, it makes me feel sleepy and that I like alot. This song is my favorite out of the entire Beatles catalog, which includes many great hits and great songs that were not hits. I enjoy being sleepy and that is why Across the Universe is the second greatest song of all time.

*3*

Freaks of the Industry

Digital Underground
This is the greatest rap song ever perfromed by a human being. This song has everything one could ever want in the music vehical that is rap. It has a multiple choice question which is something that is terribly difficult to mix into any music form. It also has the great line "Her head under my leg, under her arm under my toe" that right there should have catapulted Digital Underground into that anals of Rap history. Though this song did not get as much publicity as The Humpty Dance or All Around the World, however it is in my oppinion the best song off of the album Sex Packets. This songs makes me feel very quisical, what would I do a, b, c, or d , but he lets me know that e is what he did so I better listen up.

Horoscope!

2006-12-06T08:28:00.000-06:00

Taurus April 20 - May 20
After years of disappointment, you'll suddenly realize this week that satisfying sex has always been within arm's reach.

Ahhhhhhh, so true

"Magical Chocolate Magic" and other Michael Irvin witticisms

2006-12-05T09:41:00.000-06:00

Because you asked for it!

2006-12-04T14:53:00.000-06:00

The 3rd greatest player ever from Texas Quentin Coryatt

Say it ain't so Reggie

2006-12-04T14:33:00.000-06:00

Former Texas A&M Aggie Reggie McNeal was allegedly arrested Saturday night in Houston, TX for resisting arrest. These policemen apparently did not know who Reggie was which I find ludicrous since he is probably the most widely recognised football player in the great state of Texas besides Bucky Richardson. I am sensing some sort of conspiracy to get Reggie kicked off of the Bengals so that the Texans can sign him to fix their QB woes.

Happy World AIDS Day!

2006-12-04T10:14:00.000-06:00

So I am now within striking distance of my fantasy football opponent this week come on Jake Delhomme. I am frustrated with the Tenacious D movie, it wasn't that great; as per Dagromm's rating scale I will give it an A-. I want to completely destroy the girl that is in those librarian movies with Noah Wiley sexually. I have not seen the dancing penguin movie yet but since it has dancing penguins I am expecting greatness. I have not seen Borat yet but since it has Ali G as Borat I am expecting greatness. I have not done a post like this in a while so I am sorry for falling so far behind. I am taking my supplements again and oh my can I feel a difference in my body. I have more stamina when lifting weights and just generally throughout the day! In my new Muscle Fitness there is an article on test. cream, I just found that weird though I believe that I will be ordering some within the near future. I have been sleeping very soundly recently because of my discovery of Sleep MD and its combination with Meloxicam. I love my new job, mainly because I am kind of my own boss/supervisor. My new iPod rocks! I just ordered myself one of the new Treo 680's and I am going crazy with anticipation. I also received a black berry from cingular I haven't used it yet and I was wondering how that service actually works. I think my racing mind has something to do with mixing too much Phentermine with Thermo Gain, wow I am completely losing it right now. Seriously, my hands are unsteady and I have already completed what was on my dockett for today. I have watched some of the show Heroes recently, OVERRATED. Is Mark McGuire a first ballot hall of famer?

I told you so!

2006-12-01T15:38:00.000-06:00

Willa Ford is engaged to Mike Modano of the Dallas Stars, according to Splash News! I told you...hah! I would however still violently make sweet love to her.

The Sweet Karolina

2006-11-30T13:24:00.000-06:00

Hey did you guys notice the video section on her blog? If you have not already you need to check them out. Spank material, just sayin'.

Q out!

Newspaper Column: Get touched by the holiday spirit

2006-11-30T13:22:00.000-06:00

By GORDON KEITH

It all started with a large candy cane, a big, giant 25-foot candy cane. Jack, my neighbor, has run up the score on me for years with his over-the-top Christmas decorations: mechanical Santas descending ladders, false reindeer with working digestive tracts, a sleigh that traverses his yard before ascending a fake snow-covered roof and ejecting presents. Once he even hired a "Mary" to simulate birth in a manger ringed with twinkling lights.
Top-notch stuff.
I am different. Outside of that one year the cops made me take down my Santa-on-a-scaffold- with-a- noose-around-his- neck-and-sign- pinned-to-his- chest-that-read-"Joy-to-the- Wurld-I'm-out," I have never done much in the way of yard decorations. It never seemed like a big deal. Until Jack erected the 25-foot candy cane.
"Howdy, neighbor. Gonna put up a couple strands of lights this year?" Jack said as he fiddled with a plug in the darkness behind his hedge.
"Probably not, Jack."
"Yeah? Well check this out, Grinch," and he threw a switch. An enormous candy cane appeared in his yard with a large picture of a winking Jack in a Santa hat. His kids came out and hugged him around the leg, and he sneered at me and cackled as if he had just been named my parents' sole heir.
That's it, I'm going to Wal-Mart, I thought.
The Christmas aisle was teeming, bottlenecks of carts forming and children darting away from barking parents. A man in jogging shorts passed behind me just as I took a step backward, and then IT HAPPENED. My right hand grazed a floppy bit of proud flesh at the point of his shorts. What just happened? After 1.3 second of hang time, the sensation registered, and my eyes got wide.
"What the ..." I heard him utter.
I turned around and immediately avoided eye contact. "Oh dude, I'm so sorry. Man, dude, totally an accident. ..." In my fumbling explanation, I kept repeating phrases often associated with heterosexuals, like "marriage" and "religious right," but he was having none of it.
"I'm getting security. There are kids around here, for God's sake." He disappeared into the crowd.
I scrambled for the nearest fire exit and sprinted across the parking lot toward my car. I ran into my house, jumped into the shower and began to vigorously scrub.
Never envy another man's candy cane. In my case, it led to another kind of envy.

Tell Gordon more sordid Wal-Mart tales at gordon@gordonkeith.com. Listen to him on "The Ticket" KTCK-AM (1310) weekdays from 6 to 10a.m.

I have already ordered 4 copies for Christmas gifts!

2006-11-30T10:09:00.000-06:00

http://littledemocrats.net/index.html

Picture Closet Cleaning

2006-11-30T10:07:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving, I think?

2006-11-27T13:56:00.000-06:00

This year marks the first year in my life that my family has not gotten together for the food, argumenting, humiliation and fist fighting that is Thanksgiving. I kind of miss the dried out turkey and the overcooked ham. I miss the giblet gravy and the super rich creamed potatoes. I miss the pumpkin, sweet potato and apple pies. I miss playing some football during halftime. I really do miss the family gathering. With a lot of the elder members of my family passing away I am sure that get togethers will be few and farther between. We used to get together every year at my Uncle Doug's house, he was the youngest brother to my grandmother and all in all a fun guy to be around, for every occasion, it was great. For those of you who have been to my house his house was what I refer to as the home place, as it was my great great grandparents'. Two of my cousins have set the pasture by that house on fire on different occasions, I broke one of my cousin's noses with a football one year in the yard. The times that we have with family are limited and I know that I did not think about it when I was trying to get out of going to them when I was younger. This year I actually ate Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant, there are apparently a lot of people that do this, but I enjoy the home cooked store bought meals had with the people that you only want to see twice a year opposed to great food from a nice restaurant, with people that you see all the time. So this year it was not like Thanksgiving to me, it was more like...well, my birthday except without the presents.

Interesting Horse Info

2006-11-18T01:39:00.000-06:00

The Greatest 3 Minutes in Television History

2006-11-10T15:42:00.001-06:00

Mr. James: "The original title of this book was 'Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer' but I see now that it's... 'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'... you know what it is... I had the book translated in to Japanese then back in again into English. Macho Business Donkey Wrestler... well there you go... it's got kind of a ring to it don't it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three... which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence... I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street... many days no business come to my hut... my hut... but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. ...Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey."

Question: "Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?"
Mr. James: "Well, you know... it's LIKE when a clown is making like a car... racer... it's sorta... like... the FCC. The CLOWN... the clown is like the FCC... and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!"

Question: "So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?"
Mr. James: "Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!"

Question: "What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey?"
Mr. James: *Sigh*

The have not had a case of it this bad since I was 16

2006-11-07T17:29:00.000-06:00

My Generic Fantasy Football Post.

2006-11-06T15:29:00.000-06:00

I have never really been a fan but...

2006-11-02T10:33:00.000-06:00

Keith Olbermann has won me over with his article about the joke that John Kerry made in South Carolina. Link To It

It's Skootstastic

2006-11-01T14:35:00.000-06:00

Gordon Keith's Halloween Cards if you missed them.

2006-10-31T09:06:00.001-06:00

Dear Halloween friend,
I am trying to come up with some new Halloween traditions and need your help. Has anyone ever thought of stapling your head repeatedly to a wall.
Gordon
P.S. Leave a message if I’m not home.

Dear Accommodating Halloween aquaintance,
Tonight when the sun goes down do me a favor, tie yourself up, it will save me time, and foreplay.
Gordon

Hey Guaranteed Halloween lover,
Let’s sneak into a graveyard tonight. Your shallow grave will blend in better there.
Gordon

Hey there Witchy witchy witch witch,
Do me a favor, swallow this diamond. I will come over in about twelve hours to get it back.
Gordon

Hey Pumpkin Head,
You know how I know we will be together tonight? Because I know how to jimmy a lock. Take precautions and you die.
Gordon
PS. Just kidding.
P.P.S I’m not kidding. Look out..

Dear end of October Surprise ghoul,
I am am making out my materials list for your family’s Halloween Party tonight. So far I have- a box full of condoms and heart full of revenge. Am I missing anything?
Gordon
P.S. Oh yes. The Bone saw.

Dear Autumn Interrogative answerer,
Question: What is the best thing to come out of a bucket of cheap wine? Answer: The courage to saw out your spine.
Gordon

To my special Halloween kitten,
Halloween always triggers my imagination. Just like my body will trigger your gag reflex.
Gordon

Dear costumed Fall friend,
What do you plan on doing when the clock strikes midnight? Me? I will be trying to hold the gun steady as I watch you cry and perform an unconvincing striptease.
Gordon

Hey Halloween Scare Scare,
I bought some eyelid retractors, want to know why? I want you to look me in the eyes when the virus passes into you.
Your generous friend,
Gordon

Dear Halloweiner,
What do you do when you love someone so much that it makes you want to kill them? I send them a card. Happy Halloween.
Gordon

Just cleaning out my picture closet of all of the

2006-10-30T12:18:00.000-06:00

pictures that I wanted to post on my blog. Here is sweet Karolina at her costume party, you can thank me later.

CyberD I know you love this guy...

2006-10-30T12:14:00.000-06:00

but he has something crazy going on with his eyes in this picture. Ects?

Dallas Comic Con '06 Greatness!

2006-10-28T19:39:00.000-06:00

Musetta Vander

2006-10-26T10:09:00.000-06:00

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was fuckin’ hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actually! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the peas?’ But I slipped up and said “You fucking bitch you ruined my life!”

So I have recently gotten into this IM stuff and...

2006-10-25T11:12:00.000-06:00

Here is a transcript of a recent conversation I had.

Jen22: Hey there Q. I liked your post about Texas-OU weekend

The_Q: Thanks! you sound pretty hot

Jen22: My boyfriend seems to think so.

The_Q: Hows about sending me a pic, preferebly naked or bloody

Jen22: here it is. This is me holding my youngest at his christening last month.

The_Q: Fantastic, what a nice rack you have. Too bad that baby is in the way. Here's a pic of me.

Jen22: ... well, I like your back yard. Is that a ball gag in your mouth? I take it it was cold that day?

The_Q: Thanks for the compliments. That's a lamp I'm using on myself. Wanna meet up later and screw?

Jen22: Actually, NO

The_Q: really? what about just some oral?

Jen22: I don't think you understood me.

The_Q: ok, ok, what about some lunch?

Jen22: I just ate, besides I think I just lost my appetite.

The_Q: did you eat it real hard for me?

Jen22: Again, I don't think you understood me.

The_Q: EMPDAGROMM

Jen22: What?

The_Q: Easing My Pants Down And Gently Rubbing On My Manhood

Jen22: OMG you are a Sicko! I am contacting the admins

The_Q: Please don't! I am so sorry! I misunderstood! You sounded like you were totally getting into it.

Effing Brilliant!

2006-10-25T09:47:00.000-06:00

Vicious!

2006-10-25T08:27:00.000-06:00

Check out this guys sidewalk art it is really neat. It is a 2-d drawing that when viewed from certain angles appears 3-d. Don't worry Dagromm the site is safe for work.

http://rense.com/general67/street.htm

Interactive Blog Topic #1: The Top 10 Football Movies

2006-10-23T13:36:00.000-06:00

Here is the list that I came up with in no particular order:
1. Any Given Sunday - LL Cool J, Cocaine, Lawrence Taylor, Steamin' Willie Beamen and Cameron Diaz; Does it get any better than that.
2. Varsity Blues - Texas High School Football at it's best
3. Friday Night Lights - Texas High School Football at it's worst
4. Rudy - Just a good movie, Dan Devine
5. The Program - Halle Berry and Kristy Swanson in one movie, I love America!
6. Radio - Ed Harris's crowning achievment in acting.
7. Necessary Roughness - Scott Bakula, Kathy Ireland and Jason Bateman with an All-Star cast like that how could you go wrong
8. Lucas - A young nerdy boy hopes to gain acceptance in a high school by not backing down against the school bullies, attempting to make the football team and by befriending a new popular girl. His life is complicated when he falls in love with her while she falls in love with his protector, the school football star, in this sensitive and true portrayal of growing up.
9. Remember the Titans - It has Hayden Panatiere in it so it has to be good.
10. All the Right Moves - Tom Cruise and Lea Thompson before they hit it big.

Yep I'm Addicted

2006-10-23T11:28:00.001-06:00

Your Birthdate: May 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause.
You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too.
Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others.
You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress.

Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years

Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities

Your power color: Crimson red

Your power symbol: Snowflake

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Your Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you!
Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down.
You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty.
You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste.
While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills.
People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

I just love these things!

2006-10-19T08:35:00.001-06:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Here's an interesting blog I ran across.

2006-10-18T22:50:00.000-06:00

http://fiufootball.blogspot.com/

The Suicide Picture.

2006-10-18T08:42:00.000-06:00

Why does Owen Wilson keep having to show me how much better he is than me? This dude is living the dream while I toil away in mediocrity, I really hate him. I do however love Wedding Crashers and Zoolander and The Royal Tennebaums which is why this is so hard for me. How does he get these ladies? I am pretty sure I am more deserving than he is, I mean he gets to bang the "broads", as he calls them, all the time, which is a lot more than me I assure you. He probably doesn't even know their names nor does he care. I on the other hand would know their names, addresses, parents names, family medical history, etc. I am very thorough. I would also make sweet love to them with a genuine colt 45 pointed at their head, I mean who doesn't like a little excitement, I know I do. Seriously Owen if you somehow make it to my blog can I hang out with you for a night or two? I only want your castoffs.

P.S. - I loved Bottle Rocket.

Everybody Needs to Check Out Her Blog!

2006-10-12T08:33:00.000-06:00

PensiveGirl She has a great blog and I think I love her. Sadly though she is married and lives far away from me. She is the one on the right, the girl on the left is her sister. Everyone enjoy her blog it is fantastic!

It's Pantsoff Danceoff!

2006-10-10T14:23:00.000-06:00

So I was watching the telly the other day and came across a show called Pants off Dance off and it was hosted by Jodie Sweten or as most of us know her Stephanie Tanner from full house. I said before that she would be the best looking of the 3 TV siblings and boy was I right. The Olsen twins who Dagromm called (way too early) are gaunt and skinny, DJ is plump and short but sweet Steph is very fine and buxom. I googled her and ran across a couple of stories about her marrying a cop and getting hooked on meth but with her current figure I cannot imagine her using any sort of narcotic. So in closing I would like to say that I would totally hit it and might even do it twice.

It's Texas-OU Weekend and the Professor was very busy

2006-10-08T03:46:00.000-06:00

So I was in the "plex" gettin' my rave on, and making some extra cheddar. When a gentleman came up and asked what I had. I replied, "any thing you want" though I am not sure how easily it was to understand me what with the pacifier and all. After a minute or so of elbow flailing and awkward touching he fell under my spell and purchased some of my wares. In the back of my mind I could not help but feel that I new this man, he was older and looked to be in his late 50's, not your normal bubble dancing party goer. So he slid me the cash and sashayed away into the soapy darkness. A few hours later he came back up to me and thanked me for the "High" quality goods, and bought some more. This shindig was getting kind of lame and he said he was heading to another blowout about 20 miles out of town, he invited me along. I obliged and went to the Tahoe to refill my stock and off we went. Now normally showing up to a rave with the Professor will get you some tail, or at least arrested, but this time people seemed to know who this guy was and were ignoring me. Once again that is abnormal even when I am not wearing an over sized diaper and a bib; this time it was weird people would walk up to him and get an autograph, several times people got pictures with a knife up to his throat. Normally, I am in for a little blade play and this time was no different, I was seriously gettin' my rave on at this point, my spine was just reaching jello. So the ladies were flocking and P-X was ready and waiting with roofies in hand. Somehow my seemingly famous new friend had acquired 4 sexy bitches and offered to share for another hit, reluctantly I agreed. So off to his hotel we went though the 3-1 split was not what I had envisioned but not at all worth a verbal complaint. When we arrived in his suite, he obviously took the bedroom and allowed me free run of the rest. After the best 7.5 minutes of this young lady's life I was able to snoop around to figure out who this middle aged stud was. He apparently heard me rummaging and opened his door and said "How about a tag team mate?" . Then it dawned on me this was the one and only Crocodile Dundee, eagerly I shouted "fuck yeah", how many times can a person have group sex with a movie star? This is where everything began to go down hill, I am not sure how they do it in Australia but sex in the USA does not usually involve anal, for the males. I am out numbered, blindfolded and completely terrified at this point. After about 2o minutes you go completely numb so it was only the worst half an hour of my life even though the sex lasted for hours. I will also never forget the drunken yells of "That's not a strap-on this is a strap-on"...Seriously this never happened and I have never met Paul Hogan, but UT won and it is almost the same thing as getting anally penetrated...I have heard...Seriously, I have not ever done...I hate you...Professor OUT!

I got a revolver in my right hand; 40 oz in my lap, freezing my balls

2006-10-05T14:57:00.000-06:00

So I was thinking the other day about how money equates to work, and I came up with a theory that all work for money exchanges are equal. So if a guy works at McDonalds making 5.50 an hour while I go to college technically I am at a negative in my work/money equation, which is why when I graduate I can earn more than he does. Some people just stumble into money but somewhere along the way that money was worked for.
My problem is how to equate knowledge and work for purposes of determining intellegence needed for a job instead of brute force or menial labor. Oh well I guess that will be another day. CyberD feel free to comment on this since you are schooled in the ways of buisness.

Love,
Q

The Wench Swap Trio!

2006-09-29T12:24:00.000-06:00