I went to Toys R' Us this weekend to get a gift for me cousin's 10th birthday. There were still a few more items left that he wanted there so I didn't have to be creative with what I would have to purchase at another store. I mean, I don't have the time to search through the isles in Target to find some Kung-Fu Action Man... besides, he wanted a certain action figure and it was only sold at Toys R' Us and it is after all his birthday so I took the time to run down and pick one up for him.
Toys R' Us is great because all the different kinds of toys are arranged in sections by type so you don't have to wander around the store like an idiot looking for something that you have no idea what it's appearance is. You can imagine my surprise when I ran into Dagromm's friend, DotCom.
"How unexpected!" he said in what felt like a half-hearted attempt to sound interested in my reason for being at the local Toys R' Us.
"Not as unexpected as you might think, I..." as I responded I was interrupted when I noticed DotCom was standing there with his thumbs resting in his front belt loops on his chinos and his other four fingers rubbing his pelvic area seedily.
"Uhh..." I paused awkwardly, "What's up?".
"Dude, did you know that TRU is the absolute best place to voyeur some hot-moms?" he quizzed.
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"Like that one," DotCom sneered, ignoring my last question. He pointed his outstretched arm to a young mother and her toddler as they made their way through the store. The young mother looked over in our direction as DotCom continued to stand there with his index finger aimed at her chest like a sniper tracking its prey. "I would devour the deep expanses of your nether regions!" he called out to her. "I would destroy that," he said to me as he leaned his head sideways toward me and ignoring her fleeing from his presence around the corner and down the Barbie aisle.
"Dude, what's your problem?" I asked.
"You know what the best thing is about these moms?" he asked, still ignoring my questions.
"Seriously dude, I've totally got to go." I attempted to end the conversation before something was said that I might have to later testify about.
"They've got low self esteem, you know, and they really want it" DotCom asserted.
"How do you know?" I queried, now somewhat interested in what he had to say. Watching his eyes I could tell that he was staring down another attractive mother who was pushing her cart through the store with two kids who looked to be under the age of six.
"That's why they come here, they don't..." he was interrupted as he responded. Apparently his son meandering off caught his attention, the little tike insisted on playing with the Thomas the Train set. As much as I wanted to hear the end of his explanation, I began to walk away as I felt it was important to let DotCom practice his exceptional parenting techniques.
"Later." he said he with a head nod.
"You know it." I responded.
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5 comments:
hmm...that DotCom character seems a bit shady
He is not awesome like Myspace, or webcams.
He seems more icky, like the PS3
I don't know, G. He doesn't seam like a bad guy to me. Perhaps he is just misunderstood. Perhaps he IS awesome, but more like awesome like text-messaging and go-go-boots!
and awesome like six inch platform pimp shoes!
I spent the other day trying to lower the self esteem of my teenage intern.
Really? I spent the other day trying to get a teenage intern to lower the self esteem of.
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