I SAW YOUR MOM NAKED!!!!!!!!

Not really, but I did just watch "Running Scared" which stars my main man Paul Walker. Man, I can remember the days when he and I would hang out swimming in my above ground swimming pool, drinking some Sunny Delight and having a hearty game of Sword Fighting. I always won because we all know I swing a bastard sword but P-Dub, that is what we used to call him, was a mighty fine handler of his rapier. Oh and the time that he was playing doctor with my puppy, Amos, well that was just a little weird. I mean, who plays doctor with a water hose, vaseline, a throw pillow and some popsicles? He would always find ways to bring me back to his side though, even when I would turn against him for stealing my girl friends. Like this one time, I was so mad that I stuck up to his window and watched him for days. Taking pictures of his every move and plotting. The next week I waited until he left and burned his house down. How was I to know that his Aunt Betty was in from New York and was a very heavy sleeper. To this day we both joke that, that was the best prank either of us ever played on each other. Well, I joke about it he doesn't do a lot of talking to me, not because of that though. He got pretty pissed when I slept with a bunch of "ladies" out in California after he hit it big in The Fast and the Furious, and told them that I was him. "Seriously honey I had to put on the weight for my next role", that is what I would tell them. Every thing was fine until they all contracted several VD's and tried to sue him. Oh the good times did abound with us, the best of friends, but much like sex with me, it doesn't last forever. Or even 5 minutes. I am about quality not quantity, that is why to this day I consider him one of my closest and dearest friends/enemies.


Can you believe she is 40!!!




*Disclaimer: I don't really know Paul Walker personally, nor have I ever actually met him. This story was completely false and in know way should reflect on Paul Walker the actor.