...Wizard, he's got such a supple wrist...

So I think as of today I finally understand the meaning of “uncomfortable situation”. I went to eat at a local restaurant with a couple of friends of mine at lunch today, actually let me back it up a bit. I have been trying to end the thing that was going on with a certain person, mainly because of my realization that I can't stand to talk to her for any period of time, all I see is a revolver moving slowly up to my temple when she is talking. So anyways, I called this person and told them that I was busy and could not make it to lunch on our normal day to go eat. So I walk into the restaurant and low and behold she is sitting there with one of her friends, who was really cute btw. I grit my teeth as I stand in the waiting area hoping to get past as quick as possible without eye contact. I am however as you guys know a horrid poker player, liar and all around actor; she notices me within seconds of entry, but does not signal or notion to me in any way, hmmm that is odd I thought. Then my mind shoots to I am in the clear she wasn't feeling me either, this is great. Another thing that I need to mention, besides the bad liar and such, I am also almost always wrong about everything. I decide to go to her booth and see what’s up. I sit down by her to say hi and when asked told her that I got done with my service call and stopped to get something to eat with the guys I was working with before I went back to work, perfect cover. So I get up and go to the table with my friends. After a bit she comes over and asks to speak to me...Outside, reluctantly I oblige.

So when we get outside she asks if there is something up, to which I reply well sort of. In case you didn't already guess that was the wrong answer. She begins to cry, which really breaks my heart. Looking at her eyes with tears in them sucks, she is really a sweet person. When she questions me "so you don't want to go out anymore" my reply as hard as it was to say at this point was “not really.” I contemplated throwing in “bitch” at the end so that she would hate me and say something mean to let me know it, I looked back at the restaurant and noticed her friend watching from inside, and I figured you know what I think that I got that her hating me thing covered; a bit later I will have the opportunity to almost make it a guarantee. Weird thing is we had only gone out a handful of times, not really enough to get that attached or anything. So she came in for a hug, I think to test me or steal my wallet I am not really sure, but I go ahead and do it any way and then I said adios, she went to her car still crying a little and I waltzed back inside the restaurant, oddly enough not that broken up, I am a cold hearted bastard.

Here is where the story gets freaky interesting, as I go by the booth that she was sitting at, trying not to make eye contact with her friend who is looking intently at me, her friend grabs my arm to get my attention and stop me. I do stop, because my only other option was to drag her out of her seat, so I get prepared for some sort of mental beat down the likes of which have never been delivered. When, out of the blue she writes her number down on a napkin and tells me to give her a call sometime she would really like to go out. I looked at her confusedly and I am pretty sure that I did not say anything. She waited a minute, I assume for a response but when none was given she got up and left, as I sat dead in their booth for a couple of more minutes. Still reeling from the recent non-recent events and trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened all I kept hearing in my head was Steve from coupling saying "Watch out it's a trap". So I go back to the table where my amigos were waiting and asked me what was up as soon as I arrived, I relayed the events that had transpired and hoped that some insight would be gathered from these two individuals. I prepared myself for some interesting antic dotes or something but all I was able to get was a dumbfounded look and an "are you serious, wow, dude you should nail that".

So tonight I called my former lady friend and stopped by her place to talk with her to explain myself a bit more in hopes that she would not slash my tires, cut off my penis or burn down my house any time in the future. She said that she kind of had the same feelings that I did and did not see it going anywhere, but liked just hanging out with me. For the life of me I don't know why, she never appeared to have fun; she did not talk much; and never really seemed to want to do anything. After this conversation I came to the conclusion that bitches are fucking crazy.

I am however, still contemplating calling her cute friend but that prospect is still kind of fishy in many ways to me, don’t women have some sort of loyalty code? Who knows maybe I can get some sort of lower or upper body sex out of that one for my time...Or maybe even...Dare I say it...anal...snap...Oh well, back to the Sanctum Santorum.

Love,
Q