It's Skootstastic

Gordon Keith's Halloween Cards if you missed them.

Dear Halloween friend,
I am trying to come up with some new Halloween traditions and need your help. Has anyone ever thought of stapling your head repeatedly to a wall.
Gordon
P.S. Leave a message if I’m not home.

Dear Accommodating Halloween aquaintance,
Tonight when the sun goes down do me a favor, tie yourself up, it will save me time, and foreplay.
Gordon

Hey Guaranteed Halloween lover,
Let’s sneak into a graveyard tonight. Your shallow grave will blend in better there.
Gordon

Hey there Witchy witchy witch witch,
Do me a favor, swallow this diamond. I will come over in about twelve hours to get it back.
Gordon

Hey Pumpkin Head,
You know how I know we will be together tonight? Because I know how to jimmy a lock. Take precautions and you die.
Gordon
PS. Just kidding.
P.P.S I’m not kidding. Look out..

Dear end of October Surprise ghoul,
I am am making out my materials list for your family’s Halloween Party tonight. So far I have- a box full of condoms and heart full of revenge. Am I missing anything?
Gordon
P.S. Oh yes. The Bone saw.

Dear Autumn Interrogative answerer,
Question: What is the best thing to come out of a bucket of cheap wine? Answer: The courage to saw out your spine.
Gordon

To my special Halloween kitten,
Halloween always triggers my imagination. Just like my body will trigger your gag reflex.
Gordon

Dear costumed Fall friend,
What do you plan on doing when the clock strikes midnight? Me? I will be trying to hold the gun steady as I watch you cry and perform an unconvincing striptease.
Gordon

Hey Halloween Scare Scare,
I bought some eyelid retractors, want to know why? I want you to look me in the eyes when the virus passes into you.
Your generous friend,
Gordon

Dear Halloweiner,
What do you do when you love someone so much that it makes you want to kill them? I send them a card. Happy Halloween.
Gordon

Just cleaning out my picture closet of all of the

pictures that I wanted to post on my blog. Here is sweet Karolina at her costume party, you can thank me later.

CyberD I know you love this guy...

but he has something crazy going on with his eyes in this picture. Ects?

Dallas Comic Con '06 Greatness!

Musetta Vander

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was fuckin’ hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actually! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the peas?’ But I slipped up and said “You fucking bitch you ruined my life!”

So I have recently gotten into this IM stuff and...

Here is a transcript of a recent conversation I had.

Jen22: Hey there Q. I liked your post about Texas-OU weekend

The_Q: Thanks! you sound pretty hot

Jen22: My boyfriend seems to think so.

The_Q: Hows about sending me a pic, preferebly naked or bloody

Jen22: here it is. This is me holding my youngest at his christening last month.

The_Q: Fantastic, what a nice rack you have. Too bad that baby is in the way. Here's a pic of me.

Jen22: ... well, I like your back yard. Is that a ball gag in your mouth? I take it it was cold that day?

The_Q: Thanks for the compliments. That's a lamp I'm using on myself. Wanna meet up later and screw?

Jen22: Actually, NO

The_Q: really? what about just some oral?

Jen22: I don't think you understood me.

The_Q: ok, ok, what about some lunch?

Jen22: I just ate, besides I think I just lost my appetite.

The_Q: did you eat it real hard for me?

Jen22: Again, I don't think you understood me.

The_Q: EMPDAGROMM

Jen22: What?

The_Q: Easing My Pants Down And Gently Rubbing On My Manhood

Jen22: OMG you are a Sicko! I am contacting the admins

The_Q: Please don't! I am so sorry! I misunderstood! You sounded like you were totally getting into it.

Effing Brilliant!

Vicious!

Check out this guys sidewalk art it is really neat. It is a 2-d drawing that when viewed from certain angles appears 3-d. Don't worry Dagromm the site is safe for work.

http://rense.com/general67/street.htm

Interactive Blog Topic #1: The Top 10 Football Movies

Here is the list that I came up with in no particular order:
1. Any Given Sunday - LL Cool J, Cocaine, Lawrence Taylor, Steamin' Willie Beamen and Cameron Diaz; Does it get any better than that.
2. Varsity Blues - Texas High School Football at it's best
3. Friday Night Lights - Texas High School Football at it's worst
4. Rudy - Just a good movie, Dan Devine
5. The Program - Halle Berry and Kristy Swanson in one movie, I love America!
6. Radio - Ed Harris's crowning achievment in acting.
7. Necessary Roughness - Scott Bakula, Kathy Ireland and Jason Bateman with an All-Star cast like that how could you go wrong
8. Lucas - A young nerdy boy hopes to gain acceptance in a high school by not backing down against the school bullies, attempting to make the football team and by befriending a new popular girl. His life is complicated when he falls in love with her while she falls in love with his protector, the school football star, in this sensitive and true portrayal of growing up.
9. Remember the Titans - It has Hayden Panatiere in it so it has to be good.
10. All the Right Moves - Tom Cruise and Lea Thompson before they hit it big.

Yep I'm Addicted

Your Birthdate: May 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause. You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too. Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others. You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress. Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities Your power color: Crimson red Your power symbol: Snowflake Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Your Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you! Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down. You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty. You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste. While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills. People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

I just love these things!

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Here's an interesting blog I ran across.

http://fiufootball.blogspot.com/

The Suicide Picture.

Why does Owen Wilson keep having to show me how much better he is than me? This dude is living the dream while I toil away in mediocrity, I really hate him. I do however love Wedding Crashers and Zoolander and The Royal Tennebaums which is why this is so hard for me. How does he get these ladies? I am pretty sure I am more deserving than he is, I mean he gets to bang the "broads", as he calls them, all the time, which is a lot more than me I assure you. He probably doesn't even know their names nor does he care. I on the other hand would know their names, addresses, parents names, family medical history, etc. I am very thorough. I would also make sweet love to them with a genuine colt 45 pointed at their head, I mean who doesn't like a little excitement, I know I do. Seriously Owen if you somehow make it to my blog can I hang out with you for a night or two? I only want your castoffs.

P.S. - I loved Bottle Rocket.

Everybody Needs to Check Out Her Blog!

PensiveGirl She has a great blog and I think I love her. Sadly though she is married and lives far away from me. She is the one on the right, the girl on the left is her sister. Everyone enjoy her blog it is fantastic!

It's Pantsoff Danceoff!

So I was watching the telly the other day and came across a show called Pants off Dance off and it was hosted by Jodie Sweten or as most of us know her Stephanie Tanner from full house. I said before that she would be the best looking of the 3 TV siblings and boy was I right. The Olsen twins who Dagromm called (way too early) are gaunt and skinny, DJ is plump and short but sweet Steph is very fine and buxom. I googled her and ran across a couple of stories about her marrying a cop and getting hooked on meth but with her current figure I cannot imagine her using any sort of narcotic. So in closing I would like to say that I would totally hit it and might even do it twice.

It's Texas-OU Weekend and the Professor was very busy

So I was in the "plex" gettin' my rave on, and making some extra cheddar. When a gentleman came up and asked what I had. I replied, "any thing you want" though I am not sure how easily it was to understand me what with the pacifier and all. After a minute or so of elbow flailing and awkward touching he fell under my spell and purchased some of my wares. In the back of my mind I could not help but feel that I new this man, he was older and looked to be in his late 50's, not your normal bubble dancing party goer. So he slid me the cash and sashayed away into the soapy darkness. A few hours later he came back up to me and thanked me for the "High" quality goods, and bought some more. This shindig was getting kind of lame and he said he was heading to another blowout about 20 miles out of town, he invited me along. I obliged and went to the Tahoe to refill my stock and off we went. Now normally showing up to a rave with the Professor will get you some tail, or at least arrested, but this time people seemed to know who this guy was and were ignoring me. Once again that is abnormal even when I am not wearing an over sized diaper and a bib; this time it was weird people would walk up to him and get an autograph, several times people got pictures with a knife up to his throat. Normally, I am in for a little blade play and this time was no different, I was seriously gettin' my rave on at this point, my spine was just reaching jello. So the ladies were flocking and P-X was ready and waiting with roofies in hand. Somehow my seemingly famous new friend had acquired 4 sexy bitches and offered to share for another hit, reluctantly I agreed. So off to his hotel we went though the 3-1 split was not what I had envisioned but not at all worth a verbal complaint. When we arrived in his suite, he obviously took the bedroom and allowed me free run of the rest. After the best 7.5 minutes of this young lady's life I was able to snoop around to figure out who this middle aged stud was. He apparently heard me rummaging and opened his door and said "How about a tag team mate?" . Then it dawned on me this was the one and only Crocodile Dundee, eagerly I shouted "fuck yeah", how many times can a person have group sex with a movie star? This is where everything began to go down hill, I am not sure how they do it in Australia but sex in the USA does not usually involve anal, for the males. I am out numbered, blindfolded and completely terrified at this point. After about 2o minutes you go completely numb so it was only the worst half an hour of my life even though the sex lasted for hours. I will also never forget the drunken yells of "That's not a strap-on this is a strap-on"...Seriously this never happened and I have never met Paul Hogan, but UT won and it is almost the same thing as getting anally penetrated...I have heard...Seriously, I have not ever done...I hate you...Professor OUT!

I got a revolver in my right hand; 40 oz in my lap, freezing my balls

So I was thinking the other day about how money equates to work, and I came up with a theory that all work for money exchanges are equal. So if a guy works at McDonalds making 5.50 an hour while I go to college technically I am at a negative in my work/money equation, which is why when I graduate I can earn more than he does. Some people just stumble into money but somewhere along the way that money was worked for.
My problem is how to equate knowledge and work for purposes of determining intellegence needed for a job instead of brute force or menial labor. Oh well I guess that will be another day. CyberD feel free to comment on this since you are schooled in the ways of buisness.

Love,
Q

The Wench Swap Trio!

They just said that the Scissor Sisters were burning up the charts worldwide...Hehe. Holy shit Sara Evans has great tits. Is it ironic that a San Diego Padre is the all time MLB saves leader. There are so many chicks that I would bang on DWTSs. Have you heard of the Screech from Saved by the Bell sex video, I have and I want to see it. I love you America!

A little more blogger poetry

I put it in

And screamed of joy

The day was finally here

The night was cold

My breath floated into the darkness

Remorse was all that was left

It lit up like the sun

What a striking spectacle

I love the shapes of trees

Lindsay Lohan is a Criminal Mastermind - From thesuperficial.com

Lindsay Lohan allegedly put together a plot to get back at her ex-boyfriend Harry Morton for dumping her. She was overheard on Saturday calling Paris Hilton's ex, Stavros Niarchos, asking him to help her get revenge, saying: "No one can know I got dumped ...You will look like a total stud, and it will drive Paris crazy [if we hang out together]." Niarchos went along with the plan and the two showed up Sunday at Dragonfly "where they held hands and made out all night and then drove in separate cars back to [Lohan's] suite at the Chateau."

So basically Lindsay Lohan's idea of revenge is to let random guys have sex with her. I'm not saying it isn't genius, but if I were trying to rob a bank I probably wouldn't put her in charge of the plans. Because her brilliant strategy for getting into the vault would be throwing an orange at it and then having sex with a highschool football team.

Three Way!

Pimp My Ride

I think we are placing way to big an emphasis on our cars and pimping things out. Don't get me wrong I love my car and I love car stereo, it is kind of like hobby for me. But these people that just have someone else hook their shit up lose half of the fun of car audio, the industry thrives on these people when their stereo messes up they take it back to Car Stereo Joint and they sell them something new that these people probably don't need and they spend twice as much for it. Believe me I have paid for their services before and you pay twice as much for what you get and it is not worth it, you just have to read a little and invest a little time and you will have done it yourself and will enjoy it a lot more. Back to my original thought, we are showing these flashy cars and what not way to much, these young people on Pimp My Ride always say that they now have a new lease on life. Because you got your ride pimped??? Wow, how sad is the youth today.

Gazizza, dilznoofuses, this is Bill McNeal saying, get with the crazappy taste of Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor! Rocket Fuel's got the upstate prison flavor

I love News Radio! Gazizza

The Cocktail of Goodness

So last night I gave up in my attempts to pass a God Damn kidney stone for over a week. I gave into the incessant pain and went to the emergency room. After I was checked in and moved to a room a nurse came in and delivered what can only be called the most magnificent blend of drugs know to man. The warm up was a mild pain reliever known as Tordol, kind of like hard core Ibuprofen. That was followed up by phinegrin, which is used for nausea but when mixed with other pain relievers it acts as a pain reliever too. All of that was chased by Morphine, I don't believe that any explanation is needed for this one. Now keep in mind that I tried everything I could not to have to go to the emergency room, so I took 3 vicoden 5-750 mg pills before I headed to the hospital. I actually enjoyed the MNF game and slept well for the first time in over a week and I owe it all to modern medicine. Once I regain more consciousness I will post a great story about a friend of mine in OK City.

But what would you say if I put it in your ear?

So today, I consider it the first day of the rest of my life, I actually made it to work early! I hate everything about having a job. The restrictions, the etiquette, people, sometimes I wish I had a rich uncle who made his money through oil and had no heirs so he would invite me to his place and after checking my head for lice he would let me live out my days in his ginormous mansion overlooking a lake with his servants and escorts. I guess we all have dreams though, so good luck to you on yours.

I love you,
Q

Would ya?

We have discussed it and....

we'd hit it!

Take the quiz:
Whats Your Stoner Nickname? (PICS)

Mother Earth
You are very in touch with nature and your elements. You enjoy smoking because its natural and helps you understand more about life and why we live. You probley dont shower much and have dreds. Over all you are a pretty chill person to smoke with.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
Which Mean Girls Character Are you? (girlz)

Cady Herron
Your a math freak, your a dork.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
What thug drink are you?

Purple Drink
You love just gettin f-ed up for the hell of it... your not drinkin to score because ur the ultimate thug. More than likely your from Houston, TX... if not then youre still cool.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)

Eden
You have eden eyes. Eden is the color of water. Your eyes symbolize your great flexibility. You are a creative person. You can think of many good ways to get your point across to people as you have very good communication abilities. When someone feels down or is hurt, you have the remarkable ability to help them and heal them. If you have too little going on in your life, you may be withdrawn and depressed, timid, manipulative, unreliable, stubborn, or suspicious. Some words to describe you: peaceful, sincere, affectionate, tranquil, intuitive, trustworthy, pure, loyal, healing, and stable.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
What Secret Society Are You?

Illuminati
This literally means "The Enlightened Ones." A very old society similar in some respects to Freemasonry. However, the Illuminati are not required to believe in any Supreme Being; as a result, many are atheists or agnostic. Not much is known of the Illuminati, except that they have a structured system. It is rumored that the Great Seal of the United States (See the back of a $1 bill) represents the all seeing Illuminati watching over America.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
What Should You Have For Lunch Today?

Burger and Fries
It's easy, it's fun, It's has no real thought for your future health, it's perfect for you! Have fun, just don't think too hard about what you're eating.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Take the quiz:
Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?

Tyra Banks
You are easygoing, sweet, and care for others!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

All Time Television Shows of All Time

10. The Avengers - Emma Peel, the only explanation that is needed.
9. The Little Rascals/Our Gang - Great for any generation, I am pretty sure my Dad watched
them and I know I did. What a great show!
8. The Rifleman - There was nothing like sitting around on a lazy Saturday afternoon watching
Lucas McCain and his son Mark fight evil in there wild west town
7. Airwolf - Ernest Borgnign's best role ever. The same for Jan Michael Vincent.
6. Knight Rider - When you are 9 there is nothing better than a fast car that talks.
5. Boy Meets World - They tackled subjects that no one would dare touch and they had
Topanga.
4. The Real World - Inventor of the reality genre, still the best
3. Married with Children - I believe the longest running non-animated sitcom in history
2. Baywatch - We Germans love David Hasselhoff and boobs all over the place, this show had
plenty of both.
1. Hogan's Heroes - The greatest show ever in my opinion, plus it had a mysterious murder of
its sexaholic star. Pure Hollywood greatness.

Really? Me too.

General Statement About the Yo! MTV Movie Video Music Awards

Rock music is extremely androgenous. AFI? Panic at the Disco? 30 Seconds to Mars? GAY!

I just wanted to bring the thunder, the thunder of friendship

I just spent alot of time writing my Yo! MTV movie video awards on mtv play by play blog, but blogger fucked it up and I lost some blog gold and now have to commit suicide. FUUUCCCKKK!!!

MEME!!!! Come on its a short one.

Five items in my freezer
1. Sugarfree Popsicles
2. Santa Fe Beans and Rice - Lean Cuisines
3. Icy Mugs
4. Concentrated Lemonaide cans
5. Torso of that girl we met in Ohio (don't pretend you can't remember Gyuss)

Five items in the closet
1. Silver, Grey, White and Red Nike Air Max '96
2. Kinky For Governor T-Shirt
3. Porn Capsule
4. Birkenstocks
5. Devin Harris Jersey

Five items in the car
1. iPod nano
2. Cell Phone Charger
3. $3 in Loose Change
4. Amodium AD
5. Vaseline

Five items in my backpack, bag, briefcase, purse or trunk of car
1. Comp. Sci Books
2. Laptop
3. Checkbook
4. 40 Gig Portable Hard Drive
5. 60 gig iPod Video

Five people I tag.
Dagromm
CyberD
Gyuss
Monstro
Michael

And before anyone gets to say it in my comments. Yes I do say that to all the ladies.

What Kind of Hobby is...

Scrapbooking? What the fuck, who does this shit? I go to these mid 30's women's blogs and they all list scrapbooking as a hobby. What happens when they have scrapbooked all they can and then they have to make scrapbooks about scrapbooks. Back in my day these old maids would knit. At least then they could wear their hobby or at least it would keep them warm night after night, a scrapbook will only keep you warm for about 10 minutes. This hobby absolutely disgusts me, down to my core. I hate scrapbooking and all that it stands for. I am starting the Noble Organization For Us to Counter Keepsake Images in Notebooks, or N.O.F.U.C.K.I.N. Who's with me (Stands up and yells)?

1. One book that changed your life.
In A Nutshell: Java

2. One book you have read more than once.
Beowulf

3. One book you would want on a desert island
That one with pictures of Laetia Casta naked

4. One book that made you laugh
Encyclopedia Idiotica

5. One book that made you cry
Lolita, part of me was crying.

6. One book you wish you had written
The Sorrows of Young Werther

7. One book you wish had never been written
Too many to name...

8. One book you are currently reading
1776

9. One book you have been meaning to read
Knights Templar: God's Warriors, Devil's Bankers

10. Tag five people.
CyberD
Gyuss
Dagromm
Monstro
Michael

Sweet, Sign Me Up!

Popular Misconceptions

There are a number of popular misconceptions about anabolic steroids. A few such misconceptions are:

* Anabolic steroids reduce penis size. Anabolic steroid use does not reduce penis size. This myth probably came from the side effect of anabolic steroids known as testicular atrophy in which the use of anabolic steroids will cause natural testosterone levels to decrease, thus reducing testicle size. This side effect is temporary and testicles return to normal once use is stopped and natural testosterone levels return to normal.[20]

* Anabolic Steroids will kill you if you use them. This is one of the most common misconceptions. Anabolic steroids are used widely in the medical field without any serious health risks to users[21][22][23] and no scientific evidence has shown any long term serious health defects from correct use of anabolic steroids. While risk of death is present in many drugs, the risk of premature death from use of anabolic steroids seems to be extremely low.[24]

* Anabolic steroids have caused many teenagers to commit suicide. While lower levels of testosterone have been known to cause depression, and ending a steroid cycle is known to result in temporarily lower testosterone levels, the claim that anabolic steroids are responsible for specific suicides among teenagers is debatable. In the United states the estimated use of anabolic steroids among high school students was 2.8% in 1999. On the other hand, in the year 2000 in the United States, suicide was the third leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds.[25] With the suicide rate this high among teenagers, concluding anabolic steroids are responsible for the suicides of teenagers who happened to be taking them prior to committing suicide is a Post hoc logical fallacy. Also, only within the last few years have a few cases come to light suggesting a link between anabolic steroid use and teen suicide, even though teen bodybuilders have been using steroids for almost 25 years.

* Lyle Alzado died from brain cancer caused by anabolic steroids. Alzado himself had claimed that his cancer was caused by anabolic steroids. However, there is no medical evidence anabolic steroids can cause brain cancer and Alzado's own doctors admitted anabolic steroids had nothing to do with his death.[26]

* Roid rage. Most studies done on "angry behavior" and anabolic steroid use show no psychological effect. Implying that either "roid rage" doesn't exist or that anabolic steroids effects on aggression are too small to be measured. Making many scientists and medical professionals conclude anabolic steroids have no real effect on increased angry behavior.[27] [28] [29][30][31]

* Arnold Schwarzenegger had heart problems because of his anabolic steroid use. This claim is false. Arnold Schwarzenegger was born with a genetic defect in which his heart only had a bicuspid aortic valve. It was a congenital disorder meaning he was born with it. Normal hearts have 3 cusps. However Arnold Schwarzenegger had only 2 cusps which can occasionally cause problems, especially later in life.[32]

Ahh, it just keeps bringing this up.

You Are Phish Food Ice Cream

You've been described as gooey and fudgey. Sorry.

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

You Are The Lovers

You represent ideal love: innocence, trust, exhilaration and joy. You demonstrate the harmony of opposites, two sides coming together. At times, you also represent the struggle between what is right and what is tempting. Control is an issue for you, especially when you don't know your reasons for choosing something. Your fortune: You have an important choice you need to make about love, and it will be a difficult choice to make. You are likely struggling between the love you crave and the love that is right. In the end, you will choose what you crave, even if it's bad for you. Because without what you crave, you will feel empty and incomplete.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you. Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party. Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

I can't get away from it!

You Belong in 1963

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Fun, Fun, Fun

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous. You tend to be successful at anything you try. A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd. You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

SuperMan!

You Are Superman

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. And pretty cute too. No wonder you're the most popular superhero ever!

What Superhero Are You?

What Sesame Street Character are you?

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times. You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I am this Personality Disorder?

You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive...

Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions. Maybe it's your super neat closet or washing your hands a gazillion times. You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it. In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Summer 2006 Anthem?

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley "I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind There was something so pleasant about that phase Even your emotions had an echo In so much space"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

My Theme Song!

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Threes

Here are Three--

1. --things that scare me:
a. Death
b. Needing someone
c. Fear

2. --people who make me laugh:
a. Steve Martin
b. The "Doctor"
c. The Elderly

3. --things I hate the most:
a. Ignorance
b. People who just don't listen
c. Losing

4. --things I don't understand:
a. Women
b. Nuclear Physics
c. The Swedish Language

5. --things I'm doing right now:
a. Touching my privates
b. Blogging while avoiding writing a program that is due
c. Laying on my back with the laptop on my stomach

6. --things I want to do before I die:
a. Lots of Cocaine
b. Publish my autobiography
c. Shoot my load into the mouth of a volcano

7. --things I can do:
a. Strategise for wargames
b. Over think everything
c. Talk your ear off

8. --ways to describe my personality:
a. Off
b. Creative
c. Loving

9. --things I can't do:
a. Sing (unless you like offkey vocals that don't follow the beat)
b. Bench press my body weight
c. Take a shower without washing my hair

10. --things I think you should listen to:
a. Kool Keith - "Black Elvis/Lost in Space"
b. The White Stripes - "Get Behind Me Satan"
c. The wait staff as they give you the daily specials

11. --things you should never listen to:
a. Propaganda
b. Toby Keith
c. Presidential Addresses

12. --absolute favorite foods
a. Deep Fried Strips of Chicken
b. Anything covered in Bar-B-Que Sauce
c. French Fried Potatoes

13. --things I'd like to learn:
a. The intricacies of color theory
b. How to morph my body into something else so that I could go somehow pick up Dwight Yoakam and then turn myself back into me as he is about to reach climax and then blackmail him for millions
c. How to effectively use a kilo of illegal drugs to get a stripper to commit suicide on the hood of your bmw while you are driving down the highway at 85 mph and straight jerking it.

14. --beverages I drink regularly:
a. Water
b. Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi
c. Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper

15. --shows I watched as a kid:
a. The Rifleman
b. The Lone Ranger
c. He-Man

16. --people I'm tagging
a. Dagromm
b. CyberD(AnalD) - Sodomy!
c. Whoever's on duty at the time

Freakin' Brilliant

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/printthread.php?t=41365

...Wizard, he's got such a supple wrist...

So I think as of today I finally understand the meaning of “uncomfortable situation”. I went to eat at a local restaurant with a couple of friends of mine at lunch today, actually let me back it up a bit. I have been trying to end the thing that was going on with a certain person, mainly because of my realization that I can't stand to talk to her for any period of time, all I see is a revolver moving slowly up to my temple when she is talking. So anyways, I called this person and told them that I was busy and could not make it to lunch on our normal day to go eat. So I walk into the restaurant and low and behold she is sitting there with one of her friends, who was really cute btw. I grit my teeth as I stand in the waiting area hoping to get past as quick as possible without eye contact. I am however as you guys know a horrid poker player, liar and all around actor; she notices me within seconds of entry, but does not signal or notion to me in any way, hmmm that is odd I thought. Then my mind shoots to I am in the clear she wasn't feeling me either, this is great. Another thing that I need to mention, besides the bad liar and such, I am also almost always wrong about everything. I decide to go to her booth and see what’s up. I sit down by her to say hi and when asked told her that I got done with my service call and stopped to get something to eat with the guys I was working with before I went back to work, perfect cover. So I get up and go to the table with my friends. After a bit she comes over and asks to speak to me...Outside, reluctantly I oblige.

So when we get outside she asks if there is something up, to which I reply well sort of. In case you didn't already guess that was the wrong answer. She begins to cry, which really breaks my heart. Looking at her eyes with tears in them sucks, she is really a sweet person. When she questions me "so you don't want to go out anymore" my reply as hard as it was to say at this point was “not really.” I contemplated throwing in “bitch” at the end so that she would hate me and say something mean to let me know it, I looked back at the restaurant and noticed her friend watching from inside, and I figured you know what I think that I got that her hating me thing covered; a bit later I will have the opportunity to almost make it a guarantee. Weird thing is we had only gone out a handful of times, not really enough to get that attached or anything. So she came in for a hug, I think to test me or steal my wallet I am not really sure, but I go ahead and do it any way and then I said adios, she went to her car still crying a little and I waltzed back inside the restaurant, oddly enough not that broken up, I am a cold hearted bastard.

Here is where the story gets freaky interesting, as I go by the booth that she was sitting at, trying not to make eye contact with her friend who is looking intently at me, her friend grabs my arm to get my attention and stop me. I do stop, because my only other option was to drag her out of her seat, so I get prepared for some sort of mental beat down the likes of which have never been delivered. When, out of the blue she writes her number down on a napkin and tells me to give her a call sometime she would really like to go out. I looked at her confusedly and I am pretty sure that I did not say anything. She waited a minute, I assume for a response but when none was given she got up and left, as I sat dead in their booth for a couple of more minutes. Still reeling from the recent non-recent events and trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened all I kept hearing in my head was Steve from coupling saying "Watch out it's a trap". So I go back to the table where my amigos were waiting and asked me what was up as soon as I arrived, I relayed the events that had transpired and hoped that some insight would be gathered from these two individuals. I prepared myself for some interesting antic dotes or something but all I was able to get was a dumbfounded look and an "are you serious, wow, dude you should nail that".

So tonight I called my former lady friend and stopped by her place to talk with her to explain myself a bit more in hopes that she would not slash my tires, cut off my penis or burn down my house any time in the future. She said that she kind of had the same feelings that I did and did not see it going anywhere, but liked just hanging out with me. For the life of me I don't know why, she never appeared to have fun; she did not talk much; and never really seemed to want to do anything. After this conversation I came to the conclusion that bitches are fucking crazy.

I am however, still contemplating calling her cute friend but that prospect is still kind of fishy in many ways to me, don’t women have some sort of loyalty code? Who knows maybe I can get some sort of lower or upper body sex out of that one for my time...Or maybe even...Dare I say it...anal...snap...Oh well, back to the Sanctum Santorum.

Love,
Q

I like Scotch....Scotch, Scotch, Scotch

So last night I was filtering through the guide on my television when I noticed the vaunted cinematic achievement entitled as Dirty Deeds. The title is intriguing so I started watching it based in the description of AC, AL, and N. The movie itself was quite funny with crude humor and a fair amount of nudity, not enough to spank but enough that it added to the storyline. In the end I will deem this movie watchable and even recommendable because of its somewhat original story, the sweet Lacey Chabert and the giant tits that are intermittently shown during the film. I start my first class at Colorado State today, so back to the schoolwork grind for me!

Funny!

Hmmm......

Go College!

Meme

The idea behind the meme is that it’s about music, and that
you can put up to three answers to any question, but no more. One answer is OK,
two answers are OK, three answers are OK. Four is not OK, and five is right out.
Unless otherwise indicated, you can only choose songs, and be specific–putting
“anything by Madonna” doesn’t count.

NAME UP TO THREE IN EACH CATAGORY:

Song(s) That I Loath to the Core of My Being

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing – Aerosmith

Red Red Wine – UB40/Neil Diamond

I Love This Bar – Toby Keith

Musical artist(s) That I Loath to the Core of My Being

Toby Keith

Dave Mathews Band

Vince Gill

Rolling Stones Song(s) I Love

Paint it Black

Get Off Of My Cloud

Wild Horses

Beatles Song(s) I Love

All Across the Universe

Penny Lane

Let it Be

Who Song(s) I Love

Baba O’Riley

Pinball Wizard

Behind Blue Eyes

Dylan Song(s) I Love

Hurricane

All Along the Watchtower

Knocking on Heavens Doors

Reggae Songs I Love

The Tide is High – The Paragons

Country Song(s) I Love

The Chair – George Strait

She Wore Red Dresses – Dwight Yoakam

Guitars, Cadillacs – Dwight Yoakam

Country Artist(s) I Love

Dwight Yoakam

George Strait

Jerry Reed

Movie Soundtrack(s) I Love

Dirty Dancing

Team America - World Police

Batman (90’s)

Cover Song(s) I Love

Love Song – 311

Good Vibrations – The Beach Boys

Six Pack to Go – George Strait

Contemporary Top-40 Artist(s) I Secretly Love

Coldplay

Maroon 5

Dido

Song(s) That Bring Me To Tears

That’s My Job – Conway Twitty

Jose Cuervo – Shelly West

Islands in the Stream – Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton

Song(s) That Make Me Shake My Ass

I’m Seeing Robots – Kool Keith

James Brown is Dead – LA Style

All Night Long(All Night) – Lionel Richie

Classical Composer(s) I Love

Your Mom

Rap/Hip Hop Songs I Love

Roll Out (My Business) – Ludacris

Ms. Fat Booty – Mos Def

Work It – Missy Elliot

70s Disco Song(s) I Love

Take a Chance on Me – ABBA

Hollywood Swingin’ – Kool and the Gang

Shining Star – Earth, Wind and Fire

70s Supergroup Song(s) I Love

Easy – The Commodores

Tonight’s the Night – Rod Stewart

You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Metal Song(s) I Love

Mr. Brownstone – Guns N’ Roses

Enter Sandman – Metallica

No One Knows – Queens of the Stone Age

Novelty Song(s) I Love

King Tut – Steve Martin

Lullabye – Steven Lynch

I’m Bad and I’m Nationwide – ZZ Top

New Wave Song(s) I Love

Forever Young – Alphaville

White Wedding – Billy Idol

Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Soul/R&B Songs I Love

Let’s Get it On – Marvin Gaye

Killing Me Softly with His Song – The Fugees

A Woman’s Threat – R. Kelly

Power Ballad(s) I Love

November Rain – G N’R

Angel – Aerosmith

Girls, Girls, Girls – Motley Crue

Pre 1950s Song(s) I Love

White Christmas – Bong Crosby

Doing What Comes Naturally - Dinah Shore

Baby It’s Cold Outside – Johnny Mercer

Punk Song(s) I Love

80’s Song(s) I Love

Another Brick in the Wall pt. 2 – Pink Floyd

Hey Nineteen – Steely Dan

Every Breath You Take – The Police

Singer/Songwriter Songs I Love

David Gray

Paul Simon

Lyle Lovett

MTV Video(s) I Love

Hey Ya! – Andre 3000

Sabotage – The Beastie Boys

I Believe in a Thing Called Love – The Darkness

CMT Video(s) I Love

The Back of Your Hand – Dwight Yoakam

Midnight in Montgomery – Alan Jackson

In My Own Mind – Lyle Lovett

Song(s) to Have Sex To

Take Off Your Clothes – Morningwood

She’s Like the Wind – Patrick Swayze

The Seed (2.0) – The Roots

None of the Above Song(s) I Love

Magnolia Mountain – Ryan Adams

Cumbersome – Seven Mary Three

The Boxer – Simon & Garfunkel

Are down with LDP?

Man I can't wait until I am rich and famous and can eat humans on a whim. In public no less. This guy is definitely living without boundaries.

OMG! Paul LoDuca is the best MLB player ever

The New York Post reports that Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca, who is going through a divorce, is having an affair with a 19-year-old girl. On the bright side, unlike most Mets catchers Lo Duca won't have to defend his sexual orientation.

-From SI.com

Man I am Getting Tired of Seeing This!

...So you've had to much to think and now you need a wife...

So yesterday I was going to go play in a warhammer event in Dallas with a friend of mine. He was unable to make it, and I was not going to go but at the last minute decided that I would head down and enjoy some dice rolling fun. I hit the road and was a tad bit early so I stopped the Hobby Town between here and there. I walked back to the gaming and section and happened to catch one of the guys that I game with blitzkrieging some Americans in a game of Flames of War. I watched for a while and realized that I haven't played that in a while, and the guys down there told me that they come every Sunday and Wednesday to play. That brings me to my delemma how do you juggle two diffent miniature games at one time that each take so much attention. Better yet how do you do this when you have other obligations that take away some of the time that is spent doing these two. Another question that I often have is that if a body is burned how hot do you need to get the fire so as to completely incinerate it down to dust. If I were to start playing FoW with these guys I would have to drive 2 hours 2 times a week, what a beating. I think I will just give up on life and play mmo's for the remainder of my time here on Earth.

Super Karate Monkey Death Car

That episode the The News Radio came on last night. Effing genious. Super macho donkey wrestler. I think that is what I will call my book about me living in a chocolate factory. No wait instead of donkey I will use boobies, brilliant. Super Macho Boobie Wrestler, watch out New York Times Best Sellers List I am coming for you. How long does a story have to be before it is considered a novel? Right now I am at 3 pages, double spaced. Do you think that is long enough?

I SAW YOUR MOM NAKED!!!!!!!!

Not really, but I did just watch "Running Scared" which stars my main man Paul Walker. Man, I can remember the days when he and I would hang out swimming in my above ground swimming pool, drinking some Sunny Delight and having a hearty game of Sword Fighting. I always won because we all know I swing a bastard sword but P-Dub, that is what we used to call him, was a mighty fine handler of his rapier. Oh and the time that he was playing doctor with my puppy, Amos, well that was just a little weird. I mean, who plays doctor with a water hose, vaseline, a throw pillow and some popsicles? He would always find ways to bring me back to his side though, even when I would turn against him for stealing my girl friends. Like this one time, I was so mad that I stuck up to his window and watched him for days. Taking pictures of his every move and plotting. The next week I waited until he left and burned his house down. How was I to know that his Aunt Betty was in from New York and was a very heavy sleeper. To this day we both joke that, that was the best prank either of us ever played on each other. Well, I joke about it he doesn't do a lot of talking to me, not because of that though. He got pretty pissed when I slept with a bunch of "ladies" out in California after he hit it big in The Fast and the Furious, and told them that I was him. "Seriously honey I had to put on the weight for my next role", that is what I would tell them. Every thing was fine until they all contracted several VD's and tried to sue him. Oh the good times did abound with us, the best of friends, but much like sex with me, it doesn't last forever. Or even 5 minutes. I am about quality not quantity, that is why to this day I consider him one of my closest and dearest friends/enemies.


Can you believe she is 40!!!




*Disclaimer: I don't really know Paul Walker personally, nor have I ever actually met him. This story was completely false and in know way should reflect on Paul Walker the actor.